My Heart, My World, My Dan // Phan Oneshot

My Heart, My World, My Dan

Hey, this is my first story on wattpad and it happens to be for a oneshot competition by squishowell and trisgrimes . I hope y'all like it.

Phil's P.O.V

It's been the same for years now. Make videos alone,make them with Dan, then watch him as he makes one for his channel. The feelings been stirring inside me for a long time, but being held there for God knows when. If I let it leak then I guess it's over.

I try to stop being like this, but it's hard when I can feel the intensity of his gaze on me, on and off camera. I know I should ask him to look away, but there's a part of me that likes it - needs it- and that's only getting stronger every time I see him. It's like every turn I make Dan's there, and that doesn't make things easier for me. He's something I shouldn't want but do anyway because I'm reminded of the twinkle in his eyes when he smiles, of the carefree voice he has when he's around me. Being by him makes me want to run the red light blinking in front of my face.

He says he's as intimidating as a butterfly. The colourful insects he claims to be like are supposed to be gentle, but they aren't when it feels like they're fluttering inside of me whenever I hear Dan. He breaks my heart by looking at me with a face that tells me he'll be brave for me. He breaks my heart when he's saying my name with a voice that sounds like its been injected with care. And he breaks my heart with that little laugh filled with love, but I know it will never be the kind of love  I'm hoping for. The shards of my broken heart are cutting at my thoughts and my feelings, making it hurt a little more each time I remember he's off limits, and since he always seems to be the one to mend me again. So, I guess butterflies turned out to be pretty harmful, especially when he's one of them.

But he's my world. He can ask me to show everything and all I could do is hold up a mirror in front of his face because he is my everything.  He's something I wanted before I even realised. " Seven billion people in the world but my heart Chose you." That's what people say. But for me it's more like "Because of fact that my heart chose you, it feels like you're the only person in the world". The Sun could explode and I'd still be lost in Dan's gaze. The sad thing is that I used to think I saw the same eager glint in his eyes but it turns out it was just a reflection of the one in mine.

He must feel uncomfortable with all of the rumors and theories about us, but I'm not. After all this time, I've learnt to accept it, become it. Those loving emotions people have guessed to be real turned out to be after I realised how much I was missing the first time I looked at him. The things that people say are getting much more true, but no one knows. And no one will know. Not if it means losing him. I can't do that, I can't let go of my heart, of my world, of my Dan.