squash squad → the raven cycle crack

chaper 1: halowen

"Wut doz mah emo hav 2 do wit it"

"Bc ur a lozer"

"Tru"

Eevantuly they arived @ teh perty. They wer all glad 2 b @ teh perty, not 4 teh sake of bein @ a perty butt jus bc viv had spen teh intire walk ther askin wen they wer goin 2 git ther n now she wud hopfuly shut teh fuk up.

Eri nok on teh dor. A chik in a fairy cosstum opined it and teh lozerz wen insid.

In teh howse, ther wuz a bunch of ppl in spoopy cosstums, dancin arownd , obveuzly druk af alredy, n fal owt boy wuz blazting frum teh speekers. Theez ppl had gud muzic tayst.

All of teh lozerz went off 2 do ther own thing. Jane, beth, eri, n Meryl got druk,. Meenwile, andi, lu, n viv danc arownd lik a bunch of weirdos bc thts wut they wer. Ian, jay, n fox wer in a dark korner of teh perty edukayting strayngers on how gay rownun linch n adamn pearish wer 4 eech oter.

In oter word, they wer all havin a grand ol tim.

Eri spoted som1 she knew. She caled owt 2 teh persun n wave thm ovr 2 ware eri n Jane n beth n Meryl wer.

Eri introduc her pal 2 her frens. "Frens," she sed. "Dis iz Camila . she's teh nice laydee hoo I bot mah cosstum frum."

"O" Jane sed. She loked @ camila jellusly bc she wuz in lov wit eri n no1 els wuz alowd 2 tuch her >:-/ "ware did u meet her"

"I met her in a van by teh sid of teh rowd." Eri sed.

Beth, hoo wuz verry, verry druk sed "tht sownds sayf"

"Fuk off beth" sed eri.

"ok so" Jane sed to Camila . "gud by"

"Jane don b rood" eri sed. She turn 2 Camila "ignor mah dummass fren"

"Y m I teh dummass fren" Jane sed "mayb ur teh dummass fren eri did u tink abowt tht"

"So rood"

"Nyway" Camila interup. "Me n som otha c00l ppl r hangin owt upstars. U guys shud com hang wit us"

"Ok!!1!!!!11!!!!!" Eri skreemd.

"Butt 1st we got 2 fined teh rest of our frens" sed meryl

"OK" Camila sed "I'll b wayting by teh stars"

Eri, Jane, beth, and meryl navagayted ther way thru teh crowd n eevintully fownd teh dark korner ware ian , jay, n fox wer.

"OK" fox wuz sayin "butt hoo reemimbers wen rownun had dat dreem ware adamn wuz lik sensully ceressing hiz tatu bc I tink abowt dis a lot"

"Aka teh closest maggy steveotter wil evr git 2 riteing a sex seen" sed ian

"Tru" jay thru in

"Guise" eri yel "stahp talkin bowt ur goddamm otp, we hav plases 2 b"

"Wut cud posseblee b mor importen thn pinch" fox ask

"Der iz a hott gurl hoo wans 2 hang owt wit us!!" Eri exclaym mayking Jane jellus.

"Y dint u jus say dat in teh 1st playce" fox yel, flyin acros teh rom. Fox wuz alwayz a slut 4 hott gurls.

Thn teh 7 of thm went 2 fined teh remayning 3 lozerz. Wen sheetbitch, impatientbitch, and lubitch wer fownd, teh lozerz all heded up teh stars.

Eri spotd Camila wen thay got up ther n she draged her frens tored her. "Guise" she sed "dis iz Camila"

"Ello" sed Camila. She had a british aksent 4 som fukin reson.

"Holly fuk ur rite she iz hott" sed fox. Beth punch ther arm n fox blink(182) @ her unamoosed.

"Cum wit me" sed Camila n start walkin. Teh lozerz caym wit her.

"So" camila sed, opining a dor 2 som randumass rom "dese r mah frens"

Insid teh rom ther wer lik a bunch of ppl in long blak clohks n a bunch of sykick shit n a mothafukin pentagram in teh midle of teh rom.

"Wel" sed lu "dis dos not sem 2 b a verry nice situasion"

"Wut teh fuk iz goin on" sed Jane "wut teh fuk iz dis. Wut teh fuk wut teh fuk wut teh fuk"

Camila shut teh dor, traapin all teh lozerz insid!!!!1!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!! O no!!!!!!

"Eri" sed Jane "wut teh fuk hav u gotin us in2"

"It apeers I hav gotin us in2 a dark rom filed wit scarey ppl in clohks" eri replyd

"U fukin tink?!?!"

"OK butt srsly" sed Meryl "wut teh hel iz hapining"

"Yul c" Camila sed

Teh ppl in clohks starrted 2 chant som kineda weered saytinic shit n teh lozerz wer all jus kinda lik "wut".

N den all of a sudin evryting went blak, almos as blak as mah sole.