Upon hearing that, I immediately ran down to the lobby. Agad ko namang na notice ang bouquet of white roses on top of the counter lobby.
Nakita ko si Ate Linda, ang lady guard, na ngumingiti sakin. She then handed me the flowers.
Ly: Salamat po, Ate. Si Kiefer po?
Ate Linda: Kakalabas lang, neng.
Tumakbo ako palabas. Pero I was too late. Sakto namang paglabas ko ang pag-alis ng kanyang sasakyan sa parking lot.
Ano ba to. Bat di man lang siya nagpakita sakin. Namimiss ko na siya e.
On the bright side, nagparamdam na siya and I was more than happy. Dun ko lang din napansin na may note pa la ang flowers. Agad ko yung binuksan and read it.
Ly,
I am sorry. Sana time will come na you can forgive me. Just always remember that I didnt mean to, but I have to. I guess this is goodbye.
PS. Everything may change but you'll always remain to be as beautiful and as pure as these flowers. And just like white roses, you, too, will always be my favorite.
Kiefer
Hindi ko maintindihan ang dapat kong maramdaman. Heck I do not even understand what he was saying. Why was he asking sorry? What for? Do we have a problem?
Why do I feel like he was saying goodbye for good? We just had a beautiful night, probably one of the happiest moments of my life, and now this? Pinaasa mo lang ba ako, Kief?
I need answers. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko. Hindi ko siya maintindihan.
Tangna naman! Kakasimula palang ng storya namin e tas puputulin niya agad. Pinagsisihan niya ba ang mga pinagsasabi niya sakin kagabi? Am I not worth it? O was he just pressured to say those words to me so he wouldnt break my heart?
If that was his purpose, then he might just have told me the truth. Mas matatanggap ko yun e.
Okay given na hindi niya sinabing mahal ako. But is it wrong for me to assume at least I meant something to special to him based sa mga sinabi niya? Why, Kief? Why?
Tinignan ko lang sandali ang card na ngayoy basa na sa mga luha ko. Tinitigan ko ang mga bulaklak.
As beautiful. As pure. His favorite.
A set of words na im not sure if panghahawakan ko pa ba. Takot na ako. This pain I feel right now is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Para akong chinopchop sa sakit. Tama pala sila, youll know when you really love someone pag nasaktan ka na. Damn this.
Damn you, Kief! Damn you for breaking my freaking heart!
Kinuha ko yung isang stem ng rose before throwing the rest on the ground. I stepped on them a couple times with all my might, before going back up.
I cant explain e. As I took each step, mas lalo akong nanghihina. Aawatin pa sana ako ni Ate Linda kanina sa tantrums ko but when I turned around to go inside na, she decided not to. Saklap. Nakita ko sa mga mata niya yung awa. And I hated being pitied upon.
Siguro kung pwede lang bumaha ng luha, kanina pa nagka state of calamity. This is the worst crying spell Ive ever been on.
Hindi ko maiwasang mapamura sa sakit. Deep inside gusto ko siyang patayin. But really it was I to blame all along. If there was something na siya ang may kasalanan, yun ay ang mga katagang binitiwan niya sakin kagabi. But other than that, I was a willing victim.
Ang lakas magsabi ng tanga sa iba, mag advice, pero ako rin naman pala, hindi kayang pagsabihan ang sarili ko.
I guess this is just how love works.
When I finally entered our room, I saw Ella excitedly come up to me but immediately stopped when she saw my grieving face.
I didnt get to walk to my bed. I broke down right then and there. Agad naman akong inalo ni Ella. Somehow, her presence enveloping my shaking body, was calming but it was not comforting. I longed for the arms who unfortunately could no longer give me the exact amount of comfort I need. The exact arms who then warmed me up has now let go and I am left freezing in this cold world I have not known existed.
Ella didnt offer words. She knew better than that. She just kept me company as I broke into tears every now and then althroughout the night.
And all along since that night, I have only one thing on my mind and that thought had never left me once alone...
Why?
*****************************
Sorry po! Peace. Haha!
I just thought of this kanina lang. And im a go lang ng go person so here it is. Haha! Sad po muna tayo ngayon.
And sa mga suggestions po, I have kept them in mind. Who knows let's see baka I might give in to your requests sooner or later :)
Kiefer's POV? Soon po, pag I feel na it is timely and appropriate already. Wag po muna ngayon. Let's develop Ly's individuality muna :) Char!
So hope you enjoy!
Much love, team thirty!
-Marii
Note ulit: Sorry sa wrong grammar, and typos! :P
