I Love You But I Can't Breathe

Chapter Seven

Harry had followed him to the bathroom after class to make sure he was alright. 

Niall nodded. "I'm fine," he said quickly. Harry was still waiting for him to elaborate, and Niall sighed, adjusting his messy blonde hair in the mirror. "I just," he started quietly, "I don't find it appealing, you know? The whole sex thing... I don't know if I want to be with anyone in that way, is that... does that make sense? Dating in general just isn't really my thing, but," Niall sighed and his tone got a little biting, "But I'm a teenage boy, so I must be hormonal, and if I turn down the hottest girl in our grade, apparently I'm defective." 

"You're the one who turned down Callie?" Harry asked. "I heard about that!" 

Niall closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "That was me." 

Harry softened as soon as he saw Niall's reaction. "Mate, there's nothing wrong with you if you don't want to date anyone right now. We're young." 

"I don't think this is one of those things that just goes away," Niall said quietly, and he bit his cheek and tried to push past Harry to leave the cramped bathroom. "I'm sorry, I should-"

"I like boys," Harry blurted. 

Niall stopped in his path. "Is that why you looked like you wanted to jump out the window in there?" he asked, raising his brows. 

"Well, kind of, but also it's just... I want a relationship," Harry admitted, "But I almost never get crushes on anyone, I go years sometimes without having feelings for anyone. Even when I do like someone, I can't imagine wanting to, wanting to do that with someone. Maybe someday, but it just... it scares me," he confessed. "It's like my brain can't even process how so I'd be expected to get there so fast, it feels like I'd be skipping about a hundred steps, I feel all weird and panicky." 

"Have you ever heard the term demisexual?" Niall asked cautiously. 

Harry shook his head, eyes wide and curious. 

"Fuck, we need to have a sleepover," Niall said, reaching for Harry's phone. "From now on, I've got your back if you've got mine, alright?" 

Harry nodded, a little dazed and lightheaded from admitting he was gay. It was the first time he'd said the words out loud, and the first time he admitted that he didn't feel attraction in the way he was expected to and instead of being shunned like he'd always worried, he'd made a friend.  

And years later, Niall and Harry hadn't gone back on their pact in the bathroom. 

+ + + 

"What are you thinking about?" Niall asked, climbing back into bed and putting the lotion on the nightstand. 

"Thinking about how we met," Harry admitted with a smile. 

"Awwww," Niall said, grinning. "You're a total sap- I love it." He patted the side of the bed next to him. "Bedtime, H. I'm about to pass out." 

Harry crawled into bed, turning out the light after him. He fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow, exhaustion taking over. 

It was 3:42 am when he woke up. 

"Mmmm," Harry groaned, mushing his face into the pillow, trying to blink away the harsh light of his bedside clock. He wrapped his hands around his chest, which felt... tight. "Ni," he whispered, gently shaking his friend awake. 

"Yeah?" Niall mumbled after a moment, rolling over. 

"Ni, I don't feel good," Harry whispered. 

"You want Louis?" Niall asked gently, reaching over to the nightstand for Harry's inhaler. 

Harry nodded sleepily and started shaking up his inhaler, trying to remember the proper steps as he used it. 

Harry perked up a little when he heard Niall start to speak on the phone. "Yeah, he's not as bad as last time but I think he's having chest pains," Niall murmured into the phone. 

Harry quickly rinsed his mouth out before sitting back down on the bed. 

"Baby," Louis murmured. "Baby, hi, how are you feeling?" 

Harry wheezed faintly as Niall helped him stand up. "It helps open your airway," he explained softly, rubbing Harry's back gently. 

"I'm okay," Harry said, curving toward the phone by reflex, as though Louis were with him. 

"Did you take your inhaler?" Louis asked, and Harry nodded even though Louis couldn't see him. "It should start helping you soon, alright?"

Harry gripped onto Niall's arm and tried to take deep breaths, but the tightness in his chest wouldn't loosen. He managed a few shallow breaths and tried to focus on the sweet nothings Louis was whispering into the phone. 

"Love you so much, you're so strong," Louis rambled. Harry clutched the phone tighter. "Shhhh..." Louis soothed. "You're alright now. I've got you, Niall's got you."

"But it hurts," Harry whimpered. 

"I know it does, baby, just stay on the phone with me until it feels better." 

Harry finally got back into bed half an hour later, and fell asleep with the phone pressed to his ear, because Louis promised he would stay on the line until it stopped hurting and Harry was still waiting. 

AN: Ahhhhh sorry this took ages, lovelies! I had one of the most intense weeks of uni in my life, but it's really great to have my life back now and write something that's not another research paper :) :) :)

oh my god this turned into such a narry chapter, I'd apologize but I'm not sorry at all because narry is life xD next chapter will have lots of louis though, don't worry :)