Dear Madison Wilmoth

The letter

Look... The reason I got upset was because today is Valentine's Day and I miss you so much, I asked Skyler to come over here today so I didn't have to be alone I didn't think we're going to talk for a week... Then Mark came over to surprise him they were cuddling and being cute couple and when you called I was so happy I couldn't handle it I wanted to talk to you alone... You insisted on talking to them.. I was jealous but I didn't mined cause I understand you missed them but I was pre-longing it because I wanted to see you longer myself... When we were talking and you were talking about changing names and stuff on Facebook you said "you couldn't do that stuff with me... Oh well I have Hayden"....... It's stupid but it hurt for some reason.... Then when we were all face timing and you got off the screen we could all hear you texting Hayden and I look over and I see Mark and Skyler laughing and cuddling and I was alone at the corner feeling bad.... I'm so stressed out because today's Valentine's Day and easily hurt because today's Valentine's Day... I'm thankful you have Hayden as a friend, he's like you're Dylan, but.. Today.. Today is the day I hate the most because I miss you the most today... The things I said was because I was so pissed off at that moment I was crying at that and I was stressed out because you didn't want to talk to me... Today is The hardest because I have been asking every friend of mine that's been in a long distant relationship on what to do.. And they were all the same answer.. Communication... And when I heard you two texting all I can think about is why can't I be the first person you ever want to talk to or tell your feelings to.. at that moment all I could think about was New Year's when you would talk to him about your problems before I walked in the room or how anytime I'm texting you you're already been texting him for half an hour before.. I don't know half the time if I'm annoying you or not I'm always looking to see if you're on because im usually the one that Texts first. I'im always worried and missing you and wanting to talk to you but.... I never know if you're busy or anything because I am the one that always texted you.. you never want to text me first so I have no idea if you're busy or not if I'm bothering you or not if I'm a burden to you or not... And when we are texting I don't know what to say which frustrates me more I mean there's things I want to tell you all the time I just don't know how to word him I don't know how to say them... You and him can talk for hours and hours on end.. I wish I can do that... Everything I'm saying now is pointless because tomorrow is a new day... All I want from this entire damn conversation is.. Is.. Just letting you know why I acted childish today and I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry please don't leave me because I'm a big cry baby that's insecure and jealous all the time... Please see past all this and just look at me as a strong person (like I said I can be a rock for you... I don't let certain things get to me that bad the only thing that ever gets to me is you... It's never going to be your family it's never friends or bullies or assholes it's always going to be you that can control my mood), I promise you I'm stronger than this I just was being a child today.