As I lay there under the tree where we both carved our names once, it rains. I drink the last drop of beer left in my bottle and then throw it in anger. I grad my notebook from my coat pocket and a pen. I express my feeling for her in the wet notebook. I remember fond memories of her and I just sitting together, knowing that that was all we needed. The way she you flip her hair off her shoulder... The way she smiled... the way she woke me up. When i finnished the first verse I began picking a melody. It was simple, but hard for me because of the fact that I was wasted silly. I must have sat there for what seemed like hours on end... How could I just let her leave like that. How could I have been so stupid. Just then I take my phone out and press her contact and call her.
She picks up the phone. "Ed I thought I told you to-"
"I'm sorry," I inturrupt.
"Ed saying you're sorry dosen't mean anything now..." She says. The words stab at my heart.
"I wrote something for you..." I say.
"Ed, that's not going to work it ov-"
I inturrupt her and start to read the lyrics to her.
"I should ink my skin, with your name... take my passport out again, and just replace it.See I could do without a tan on my left hand,where my fourth finger meets my knuckle.And I should run you a hot bath, fill it up with bubbles.'Cause maybe your loveable,and maybe your my snowflake,and your eyes turn from green to grey,in the winter I'll hold you in a cold place.And you should never cut your hair,'cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder, And you will never know, just how beautiful you are to me,but maybe I'm just in love when you wake me up..And I think you hate the smell of smoke,you always try get me to stop,You drink as much as me, and I get drunk alot,So I take you to the beach, and walk along the sand,And I'll make you a heart pendant, with a pebble held in my hand.And I'll carve it like a necklace, so the heart falls where your chest is,And now a piece of me, is a piece of the beach, and it falls just where it needs to be, and rests peacefully.You just need to breathe, to feel my heart against yours now...Well maybe I'm just in love when you wake me up... Maybe i'm just in love when you woke me up."
Just then I hear let out a small cry into the speaker.
"Babe, please don't cry..." i tell her.
"I hate you Ed," She continues, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..."
I can't think of anything else to say to her, so i let her continue.
"It's things like this, that make it impossible for me to hate you... I'm on my way. " She says, then hangs up the phone.
"I love you," I whisper, eventhough i know she hung up already.
It's funny how when you are in the slums of the underworld, and all of it can change in an instant. I walked through the doors to find her bags at the door. She moved back in.
"Ed Where have you been?" she says peeking out of the kitchen. " it's 1am!"
Without saying anything, i walk up to her and just hold her in my arms. I want to hold this forever, but unfortunately, I can't. I feel her push away from me but I stop it by compressing her lips to mine. It dosen't feel the same, I need to give her time... She rapidly pulls away from making a loud sniffing sound.
"You've been drinking again haven't you!?" Her voice is harsh, almost cruel.
"I-" just when I was about to tell her, she slaps me. I push her away from me, "What the bloody hell is wrong with you!?"
"Me?!" She protests, "Whats wrong with you? You're out every night drinking with your buddies while I'm at home not know whether or not you're coming home!"
She couldn't have been anymore wrong, she has more of a social life than I do. but insead of rekindling our fight that happened a few nights ago, I remain quiet.
"i knew I never should have came back, I knew it!" She smacks her hand on the kitchen table with frustration and than sits down.
I can't stand this... It has been going on for far too long.
"Just go..." I say, in almost a whisper.
"What did you say?" She turns around and looks at me with shock.
"Just go!" I say. My voice is cracked, and the words choke my throat.
She gets up, grabs her bags and leaves. I lean against the wall in my front hallway and let out a loud cry. I soon ralise that I am on my knees and decide to get up, forget about her, and start a new life.
