Poetry- My thoughts and feelings

Betrayal

Betrayal.

Betrayal is one of the worst things a person can do to another.
It's one of the worst feelings.

When you betray someone, you feel ashamed, sorry, you wish you could go back and redo it, but you can't.
Or you don't feel sorry at all and just keep life going, but that is probably not true.

When you get betrayed, you feel unsure, insecure, hurt, sad, angry, depressed.
You wonder if you were the one that did something wrong and wonder what you ever did to get that betrayal.

You get hurt and sad, that a person that you loved stabbed you in your back.
You are broken, you gave a piece of your heart to someone that only stomped on it and threw it away.
You feel lost and don't know what to do.
You are angry at yourself; for trusting that person and for might have ruined the relationship.
You are also angry at thee. For doing such a thing to you, for being so mean.

And then you feel depressed.
The worst of the feelings, the feeling that makes you space out, shut yourself in, hurt yourself (figuratively or literally) and might even kill yourself.

You are scared of being betrayed again.
You loose contact with close ones and you are then alone.
Being alone is not healthy and it slowly kills you- mentally.

You start talking with family and friends again, slowly coming back.
You smile a bit, slowly letting them in again.
And then it's like it how it was before.

But not really.
You fake your smile sometimes, don't laugh that much at jokes, talk less.
You try to give away your trust, but you're still scared.
Scared of being hurt again, being betrayed.

But you have to give away trust. It might get bad again, and it might get even better and you are normal again.
You smile, you talk, you laugh. You are alive again.
And you feel loved.

And next time you feel betrayed, you are more ready. You know what to do, you know how to handle it all. It gets easier this time and the time after that, even more easier.

You know how to not fall again, how to not let it crush you and you are alive.
You are enjoying life.