Dude, shut up

A is for Asshole, not for Apple

I can only give you my opinion on certain things as i continue to narrate this awfully bad story to you. Because as a newly aged adult, I'd rather not lose the memories of my life. One day, I'm going to grow old; I'm going to have a completely different life.

One day, I might not know who Mordecai is.

But that's a sad thought, isn't it? I would rather not think of that, because right now he is one of my bestest friends. I mean, he's loyal and awfully funny. But it's a huge shame...

That he isn't gay.

Because obviously he has a massive crush on that barista, Margaret, who obviously doesn't even know it. It bothers me really, how Mordecai isn't able to actually date her because she has no idea.

I'm gonna throw her off a cliff.

She's also always with her partner, Eileen. And when I say partner, I obviously mean work partner; because there is no way in hell Margaret can ruin Mordecai's dreams by getting together with Eileen.

But anyway, everyone's an asshole.

"Hey Rigby, Benson wants us to clean out the fountain again." Here he comes now, pulling back his blue and black hair away from his sweaty forehead. Whatever he was doing earlier, must've been tough.

"Ugh, but we do it every week." I half yelled, throwing my arms in the air to make it more dramatic. I then crossed my arms, dragging my eyes to stare down at Mordecai's shoes. Why the hell does he choose to wear blue converse, his new ones, when we are about to clean the fountain? Idiot.

He's also looking kinda fancy too; flat cap, blue under shirt with a pink and yellow tank top over the top. And dark blue skinny jeans. He never wears those unless it's an important occasion.

Wait....

It's my birthday.

Nah, he obviously forgot. Because he had given me that extra confused look when I mentioned today to him... He has a really stupid brain.

"Yeah but seriously, we need to get something done today. And Rigby," Mordecai looked me up and down, blue eyes scanning my slouched body as he gave a disapproving sigh. "Fix up your overalls."

I forgot I was wearing those.

I understood what he had meant though, because one of the buttons had fallen off a while back, and I never had the time to fix it...
Who am I kidding I had heaps of time.

I tugged the ends of my sleeves, because today sleeves are just my type. And blue. I really like blue, for some odd.. Reason.

I cursed to myself, muttering terrible words that children aren't allowed to know about yet, so I'll keep quiet. I told myself that maybe I should turn up late, so Mordecai can do everything. But maybe he won't start until I arrive...

Fine.

And that's the thought that kinda brought me to walk through the entire field of the park. Just to get to the fountain. Because what's the point? I'm not even allowed to ride the cart on my own, not without Mordecai or Muscle Man anyway.

But the sight that really bugged me, the sight that made me want to throw up, to run away and hide, to sulk and throw a tantrum.. Margaret's car was parked at the front.

Dammit, of course he invited her over. And that's why he's dressed up all fancy like. Because maybe he wants me to know that he finally got a girlfriend, it just a date with Margaret. And he wants me to take care of the fountain...

I should've known.

And that's why I grumbled most of the way, kicking at nearby stones and dragging my shoes against the pavement. Damn Mordecai, why must you be an asshole?

Pretty much like everyone else.

I turned my gaze ahead of me, looking up to find a simple view of the fountain. But dammit, everyone is all on the other side. They are laughing and telling lame jokes. I can hear them now, but not clearly.

Is that more people I see...? Maybe Mordecai wants to announce their relationship with everyone around them. Hell, why did I even want to come?

He's coming, he's coming... Everyone stop.

Someone hushed them all, am I really that terrifying? Or do they already know? Dammit, what's going on?

Quick, Muscle man play the music.

The sound of a tap coming from a stereo could only be heard in the distance, and now everyone has disappeared behind the fountain. Only the sound of rushing water and playing beach music was heard.

But then someone jumped at me, catching me by surprise.

It was Mordecai...
And who was latched onto his arm?...
Margaret.

But suddenly, I heard words. And it wasn't the Rigby, Margaret and I are going on a date words... It's the

"Happy birthday, Rigby!"

That caught me off guard.

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A is for asshole, not for Apple.

B is for Booze, not for Ball.

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