the something

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There's certain things you don't expect to wake up to.

I remember putting the twins to bed for the first time and thinking, this is it, this is my new life. I remember James fussing over the bed clothes and how they were sleeping.

I remember, a year later, the morning I felt the strain in my stomach, the feeling that another was beginning. I cupped my lower stomach already thinking of who this could be, who they would be.

I never hoped I would need them to be something.

I never needed this.


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