I Love You But I Can't Breathe

Chapter Four

He tried to suck in a breath, but he only heard wheezing sounds coming from his mouth and nothing was going in. His eyes started to water as he looked over at Louis, who was sleeping peacefully, his cheek smushed into the pillow.

Harry wheezed and weakly reached out for Louis' arm, digging his blunt nails in as hard as he could as the panic started to set in.

"Mmmm, Haz..." Louis slurred into the pillow, his eyes still closed as he stirred awake under Harry's rough grasp. "Stop with the death grip, I'm still sleeping."

Harry let out a dry sob and dug his nails in tighter, whining a little as he tried to get air into his lungs. He tried to choke out Louis' name but all he got out was "Luuhh..." before he started to cough.

Louis finally turned around to face Harry, and saw his panicked eyes and hand clutching his chest.

"Oh shit, oh fuck," Louis muttered, grabbing hold of Harry's shoulders. "Babe, what's wrong? Were you eating? Did you choke on something?"

Harry shook his head, and heard his lungs give another protesting wheeze as he struggled to pull the air in.

"Okay, fuck, okay- just hold on, babe, I'll call for an ambulance, yeah?"

Harry shook his head so fast that his curls bounced, eyes watering and frantic, terrified of emergency rooms and ambulances. He didn't want to be poked and prodded and put on a stretcher, he just wanted air.

"Fuck, Haz, what do you want me to do?" Louis asked, his voice rising in panic, his fingers trembling over his phone, ready to dial for help.

Harry just tipped forward, resting his forehead on Louis' bare shoulder and closing his eyes. He gripped tight onto the older boy's arms, trying to steady himself, focussing on nothing but the pinching feeling in his chest and trying to let the air flow through to ease the pain.

"Harry, you're scaring me," Louis whimpered. "Harry, I love you, I love you so much, please just talk to me. Say something, please."

Harry's breaths were shaky, but the oxygen had started to find it's way back to his lungs again. His breaths were shallow but steady, and he managed to rasp out Louis' name. "Louis," he whined.

"I'm right here, babe, I'm right here," Louis said urgently. "I'm here, I've got you, baby, you're alright."
Harry started to tremble as he cried against Louis' shoulder.

"Shhhhhh..." Louis murmured. "It's alright, baby, I'm here now, you're gonna be okay I've got you."

"I'm yours, right?" Harry sniffled.

"Yeah you're my good boy," Louis soothed, smoothing down Harry's curls. "Need you to tell me how you're feeling though- I need to know so I can take care of you properly." Louis easily slipped into a more authoritative role when Harry felt upset or anxious. Harry tended to make himself small when he was sad, wanted to be taken care of like a child. 

Of course, Louis was surprised the first time Harry acted that way around him, but he didn't mind it at all- it helped Harry feel more comfortable when he was upset or overwhelmed. Because Harry had never met his dad- he was out of the picture before Harry was born- Louis couldn't help but wonder if Harry wanted to have a piece of what he was missing as a child. But Harry was wildly embarrassed talking about it, so Louis had learned to just let it be. Louis didn't mind that part of Harry, every bit of him was beautiful to Louis, even the parts that Harry felt insecure about.

Harry hiccoughed in response, burying himself tighter against Louis' warm shoulder.

"Scared, Lou, mm scared," he whimpered.

"You want me to take you to the hospital, baby?" Louis asked, massaging his shoulders slowly.

"No," Harry whined.

"We're going first thing tomorrow morning then," Louis said sternly. He listened closely to the rise and fall of Harry's breaths to make sure that the immediate need for medical attention had passed, and heard nothing out of the ordinary as the younger boy settled back into the sleeping bag.

"Okay," Harry murmured, his eyes already heavy lidded as he started to drift off again. "Okay."

Author: I just felt like I should mention this right now, even though he hasn't gotten that bad yet, but Harry's illness doesn't actually exist! I know whenever I read books with rare illnesses in them I always get freaked out that I have it, but I promise you Harry's condition has been invented for the sake of this novel.

Hope everyone is having a good week! Mine is kind mehhh because boy trouble *sighs*