Lightwood Brothers Guide To Everything

The Lightwood Brothers Guide to Singing

And they were so stunned with our talent that after only a week we were sent home

They had tears in their eyes when we left don't you know

Young Lightwoods you're so fortunate to have our blood flowing through your veins

And even luckier to have us teach you

We shall be sharing with you today the three most important lessons we learned

And by the time we're done you'll be singing like a choir of angels

Bravo brother! I think that was well done

It was indeed

Now, as was tradition long ago, we shall list off the order of all things considered. Gideon, you may begin

Firstly, you need maximum lung capacity to sing well, which means stand tall, back straight and breathe as deeply as you can before beginning

This will ensure you don't start hyperventilating at the sound of your own gracious voice

It happened to me once, and since I learned this tip I have never fallen off a stage, a horse, or a pole

Why would you be on a pole?

... Well not much happens in the underworld, does it!

Number two: smile! That way even if you sound like a cat being walloped by Gideons deformed spine and tiny brain they'll be so blown away by your magnificent teeth they'll pass out and forget how their ears ache

If your teeth are blackened it may have the same effect

Just remember to run before they start throwing stones

And last but but not least...

Remember that in the great mass if things your insignificant and that your probably no where near as good as me

Well said brother, well said!

Now I think its time for a demonstration

I think not

Just because I outshine you

Then let me sing

*scratching noise in the background*

*Unintelligible wailing*

*Whispered voices*

*Screeching*

I'm coming

Soon Jason, soon

AAAAHHHHOOOWWWAAAAAAWWWOOOWAAAA

What is that? Do you expect me to torture a guy who's obviously causing himself enough pain Gideon

Don't leave just yet, I sense a bright future ahead of us