[Author's note: no one I wanted to update did so I thought I would :) hope you guys like it!!!!!!!!! Vote, Comment,Fan :), and yes I know it is not the best story around but so be it]
I hadn't come back to the house that night I knew that if I did I would over react, I had stayed in Canada in a house the Cullen's, Nessie, Jake, and I had stayed in during some point in the last 18 years. All night I thought about what to do next and all night my phone kept ringing eventually I turned it off to think in peace but I knew as the sun rose I had to turn it back on. The light lit up and told me that my voice mail box along with my text messages were all full. First I looked at the text inbox some from Edward, some from Alice , some from Jasper, and even two from Rose. I looked at Rose's first, even though Rose and I talked more now and she felt more like a sister than an enemy she rarely texted me, the text said 'Bella were worried please at least tell us your alive or we are going to think the worst, Rose' it was sent today at 4:30 in the morning so I decided to reply 'I'm alive I just need time to think tell everyone not to come looking for me and that I don't hate them, Bella' seconds after I sent it she replied 'Will do, and Bella they really are sorry and he really does love you, love Rose PS please come home soon.' I didn't reply I didn't know if I was coming home at all I decided to read the other messages which were along the lines of 'Sorry' - Alice, 'It was not love that I felt' -Jasper 'Bella, I love you and only you'- Edward. The voice mails were the same thing in slightly different words so I turned my phone back off I still needed to think.
If I went back then wouldn't I always doubt Edward, wouldn't it be hard to be around Alice, would I ever be the same? If I didn't go back what would Nessie, and everyone else do. I knew that if I didn't go back I would have to at least call them and tell them why and where Nessie could find me. One question kept coming to the forefront of my vampire brain had Edward really loved me or did he just think it was love because I was the only one he ever kissed. I decided then I had to talk to Jasper, I turned my phone back on a few milliseconds later Alice called
"Bella, I know you want to talk to Jasper, where should we meet you."
"No Alice I want to talk to Jasper alone, in fact give him the phone, and Alice DO NOT look into my future or his or Rose's until after we meet." I knew Jasper would not come alone and Rose was the only one I knew I could talk to without hurting
"Okay Bella." I heard the hurt and confusion in her voice but at this point I did not care, I needed to know without her around, or watching. I heard the phone change hands.
"Bella, its Jasper please do not talk to Alice like that again, and I will meet you but not alone."
"I know I want you to bring Rose, as she is the only person besides yourself I can promise not to hurt."
"Okay tell me when and where, Rose has agreed to come."
"Tonight meet me in rainbow lake in Alberta Canada as soon as you can I will be there waiting."
"Okay, we will be there in one hour." He then hung up the phone.
I waited a half hour and then ran knowing I would be there in ten minutes, for twenty minutes I sat in the lake and waited until I smelt Jasper and Rose at which point I got out and climb to the shore.
"Bella." Jasper said my name very curtly.
"Bella, I'm sorry about everything."
"Hi Jasper, Hi Rose, don't worry I don't blame you." I only blamed myself. "Jasper I'm pretty sure you know what I want to know but I'm going to ask anyway, I know that it is hard for you but please answer honestly, what was Edward's emotion after feeling angry?"
"Bella, really don't think you want me to answer that truthfully."
"Jasper please."
"After Edward felt angry, it was weird but a whole sensation ripped through his body, he felt not only lustful but also sorry I have never felt two opposite emotions in someone both so strong, Carlisle had an opinion on why. He thinks it was me changing Edwards emotions because I hadn't been able to touch Alice, he also believes that that's why both emotions were so strong one coming from me one from Edward himself."
"What do YOU think Jasper?"
"I think it's a possibility but I'm not so sure."
I had almost forgotten about Rosalie, well as much as I can forget being a vampire and all, when she said
"Bella, why is this so important you know that Edward loves you and not Alice."
"Because Rose these things are swaying my decision."
"On what?"
"Whether or not I should continue to live with the Cullen's and Black's, the biggest decision I have made in 18 years is depending on this conversation"
"And have you decided Bella." Jasper asked me this he must have known that I still felt confused, or was I? "Yes Jasper I have." They both stared at me like I was the answer to the biggest mystery, and that's when I realized I was if I said I wasn't coming home they would all be crushed, if I said I was coming home everyone would be happy, everyone but me.
"I am coming back..." I paused and Rose looked like she could cry of joy, Jasper knew I wasn't finished. "I am coming back to get my stuff and tell my daughter and best friend where they can find me, when I leave again."
Rose now looked like she was going to cry, from, sadness, but did not say a word as we ran back to Forks. On our run back I realized the irony of the situation Edward had promised he would never leave me again but now I was leaving him, I wondered if I was really doing the right thing, yes I had to be because I was feeling no pain when I thought about leaving and all the pain in the world when I thought about staying.
