Brotherly Blunders

Middle Child

"Why should I?" Leonardo spat back angrily. Michelangelo glanced from him to me with a sad look on his face.

My eyes burned with anger. Now that I'd gained an insight into Raph's character and feelings, I wasn't about to let Leo talk about him like that. Leonardo just didn't understand. "Because he's already hurting." I growled lowly. "He's already blaming himself."

That shut Leo up for a moment and his eyes softened. I took advantage of the opportunity to try and get Leo to understand while he was willing to listen. "Leonardo, Raphael came to the lab to make sure that you were going to be alright." I stated, and then continued, in a gentle whisper, "He was already kicking himself for what had happened. I saw the hurt in his eyes." There was a pause, and I could see that Leonardo already felt like an ass for treating Raphael the way he had. "Where is he?" I asked again.

"He's been in his room all day." Mikey said quietly, the heavy silence weighing down on them. "If I'd known he was upset..."

I put a gentle hand on my little brother's shoulder. "You couldn't have known, Mikey."

Leo stood slowly and moved behind the couch, staring silently down the hallway at Raph's room. "I'll go talk to him."

I nodded in approval and stared after him as he walked swiftly down the hall. He knocked on my immediate older brother's door gently. There was no reply. Leo knocked again a little louder and a little more urgently. "Raph. I want to talk to you." Silence. "Raph?" Leonardo asked, pushing the door open gently. Leo's posture stiffened.

"He's not here." He said, his voice raised so that we could hear clearly. I jumped up and moved over to him.

The corners of my mouth bent down into a frown.

"What do we do?" Mikey asked worriedly.

"Nothing." I answered, prompting both my brothers to stare at me. "I'll wait up for him. I can talk to him. He-he knows I saw."

"But shouldn't I..." Leo began, but I cut him off.

"Leo, Raph probably won't be back until late tonight and you need as much rest as you can get if you want to be training again in a couple of days. I have a feeling that Raphael's mind wouldn't sit kindly with the idea that your recovery had been prolonged because of his activities."

"How do you understand him?" Leo said, staring at me inquiringly. His face was filled with wonder.

I smiled sadly. "You're forgetting Leonardo. I'm a middle child too." I replied softly, evading Michelangelo's comforting arm as he reached towards me. If there was one thing I could say about being a middle child, it was that I had learned to be my own council. I had grown accustomed to not expecting comfort.

But now that I thought about it, whenever I did need someone to comfort me it was always Raph. Perhaps he had known all along, that I wouldn't take attention away from my little brother and seek my father's comfort. Perhaps he had known I wouldn't interrupt Leo's training to share my concerns. Because he was the same way. But...who had comforted Raphael? Spike. I realized. Spike had been Raph's only comfort. The only one that would listen. But now that Spike was...Slash, there was no one. What did Raph do now?

I returned from my thoughts, and noticed at the frown on my brothers' faces as they stared at me.

Mikey looked upset. "Donnie, Just because you and Raph are in the middle doesn't mean-" he began, but I cut him off.

"Mikey, I know Sensei doesn't love any one of us more than another, but Raphael and I...we've always been reluctant to take the focus off of you. Though, honestly Raph definitely tries with Leo. But, I think sometimes Raph does what he does to get attention, no matter if it's positive or negative. He wants to be respected, by all of us. But especially you Leo. I think that's why he fights with you all the time." I said with a smile.

Leonardo looked very serious, "But Donnie, I do respect him."

I scoffed slightly, "He doesn't think so."

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Raph didn't return until late that night. He was unscathed, so that was a good sign. I was laying down on the couch. Leo and Mikey had gone to bed after we'd finished the movie. None of us had told Sensei what was going on, but I think Leonardo intended to tell him in the morning. But as soon as Raph walked in I pulled out of my thoughts and sat up, startling him.

Raph jumped slightly, his hands heading for his sai, before he registered my face in the dark. "Donnie? What the shell are you doin' up?"

"Waiting for you." I answered curtly.

Raphael frowned disapprovingly. "You shouldn't have done that." he muttered.

"Why not? I have, after all, the right to be concerned about my brother."

He scoffed, "Why should you be?"

My eyes narrowed and I stood up, making my way around the couch and staring down at him. He glared right back. Finally, my gaze softened and I murmured. "You're my brother, Raphael. I don't like it when you're hurting."

His frown deepened, but he said nothing so I went on.

"Raph I...I know how it feels to be a middle child. Feeling as though you aren't loved as much, or that you don't matter. I know it hurts. It hurts because you feel like you can't do anything right and that everyone resents you for it. But it isn't your fault. Raph...you don't deserve to feel that way." The next thing I knew I was being pulled into a strong embrace as my immediate older brother held me close.

"I don't want you to feel that way, Donnie. I've never wanted you to feel that way, but you've been feeling that way, haven't you? That's how you know what I'm feeling! How could I not have noticed? I feel...I feel like such a failure! What kind of brother am I?!" He yelled reproachfully, but I only held him tighter.

"The best kind." I stated with such certainty that he pulled away and looked up at me slowly. "You never ask questions, you just offer quiet comfort. You're always there for me. Whenever I need you. You're the best brother ever Raphie."

Tears filled his eyes and he shook his head, pulling away from me, letting my arms slip off his shoulders. "Get to bed Donnie. You need to sleep."

"Only if you promise we can talk about this tomorrow."

"Don..." Raph said warningly.

"If you don't I'll ask Sensei to get you up for early morning training."

"Go ahead." Raph said evenly, making me frown.

I tried to think up a better threat. It hit me and I smirked victoriously, "I'll ask him to have you grounded for a month."

There was silence.

"No patrols, no going topside," Raph froze in his tracks, "No beating thugs, no bashing bots..." I let my voice fade away at the endless possibilities.

Finally after a few moments he growled, "Fine. Just let me get some sleep."

"G'night Raphie." I murmured, watching him go to his room. A few minutes later I went into my own and fell onto the bed into a deep sleep.

Raphael is going to be alright. I'll keep an eye on him. After all, us two middle siblings have to stick together.