A Frothy Compilation of Steamy One-Shots (Harry Styles)

Espresso con Panna (AU) @LoveVincitOmnia

Spontaneity
resulting from a natural impulse or tendency; unconstrained; unplanned: (of a person) give to acting upon sudden impulses.

For the past two months I have shut myself away at home.  Facing each day has been a challenge and some days I have barely been able to muster enough enthusiasm to even lift my head off the pillow.  Due to my lugubrious state of mind, on the days I have gotten out of bed I have spent most of the time lazing around in track pants or not even bothering to get dressed and staying in my PJs.

I have over indulged my diet excessively with carbs, mainly consisting of toast by the loaf load spread with enough butter to fur and clog my arteries and finished off with plenty of jam and peanut butter just to add a few more inches to my hips.  The sugary tea to wash it all down hasn't helped much either in that respect. My slovenly body is heading the same way as my listless mind, my dispirited heart and my wayward emotions.  I am in the doldrums and I have had no desire to pull myself together.

Fortunately, my European book tour was just about complete when the reason for my current demise occurred.  That hasn't prevented my ever the slave driver agent from constantly being on my back demanding that I email the next chapters of the sequel.  At my grieving, she set out her stall immediately by apologising but confirming that she doesn't 'do' emotions.  My first novel was such a huge success that the demand for the second means 'we' must strike whilst the iron is hot.

Her constant texting turned into relentless emails that developed into longer ranting emails that resulted in a barrage of daily telephone calls.  However, I ignored them all. The shameless voicemails that followed were expletive loaded as she yelled at me that 'our' publishing house would not hesitate to pull the plug if I didn't get writing pronto.  That is a lie and she knows it. She's frustrated and I get that. But, I don't need her negativity in my life right now because I have plenty enough of my own filling up my headspace without hers taking up residency in there as well.

The truth is I have been unable to face anyone or anything since my father died.  My imagination and creativity have dried-up and cracked along with everything else around me that I used to enjoy.  My councilor says I am being too hard on myself and need to give myself more time.  Her words are heartfelt and evidently in my best interests, however the invoice currently sat on top of the pile of my ever growing 'must look at' paperwork states I owe her $350, so she would say that wouldn't she.

But here's a thing, today is the first day I have woken up refreshed after managing to sleep through an entire night uninterrupted.  I also feel slightly human this morning because last night I decided not to take anything to aid my period of sleep. 

As I roll over onto my back, my fingers snake through my tangled long auburn hair and scratch excessively at my scalp.  The result is that they whiff of dirty hair, all greasy and musky where I haven't washed it this week.  The waft from my armpits gags an unpleasant sound from the back of my throat and propels me out of bed and into the shower without even giving it a second thought.  Whilst scrubbing myself clean I surmise that this is a better start to the day than recent days and I must grab it with both hands.  After all, who knows what else I can achieve today if I take advantage of the momentum.   

The washing away of dirt and grime from the body should never be underestimated because the feeling of cleanliness extends further than purely to my skin and hair.  It has woken up my mind and my senses; it has woken up the whole of me.  

Rather than my big comfy pants with the hole in, I opt for white lace matching bra and panties.  The panties are just a smidgen tighter than the last time I wore them but as I squeeze into them I mentally blame the jam and baggy track pants for lulling my stomach into a false sense of security.  I am now on a roll of rejuvenation as I launch my PJs into the wash-basket from the other side of the room. I opt for a cream silk blouse, dark blue skinnies and my navy suede high-heeled ankle boots.  I rough dry my hair, then straighten it and loosely tie it back in a low ponytail.  The wisps of my long side bangs frame my lightly made-up face.  With beautiful diamond ear studs, watch and silver bangle adding a final touch to my outfit I face the mirror feeling like a completely new woman.