Thoughts of a Dying Soul

Jump

You were completely and utterly exhausted.

You just climbed 41 flights of stairs to reach the roof of the Simmons 1 Bank - the tallest building in Arkansas. You figured you'd take your time getting to the top, since you'd be leaving the world pretty soon anyway. Your legs were ready to give out as you cautiously stepped to the edge of the roof and crouched, looking down at the cars and pedestrians so far below you. You sit down, and swing your legs back and forth. The city of Little Rock normally looked dreary and boring, but tonight, it looked stunning. It was Christmas Eve, so the streets were busy with people taking calm walks in the unusual 70 degree weather. They're probably desperately shopping for last minute Christmas presents. The parking lot of the Starbucks was full, and inside, couples and families gathered to drink the festive holiday drinks. On the bridge, green and red lights shone brightly and reflected off the calm river.

Your admiration of the city soon turns into anger. Why can't you live like this? It seemed like the whole world was against you, and you were defenseless. Your best friend abandoned you. You had no idea what you did wrong, but she decided that you mean nothing to her. In a sense, though, it was true. Who will really miss you? Maybe the principal of your school will send emails to the teachers and all... and then it's over. You're irrelevant. You're forgotten.

So you finally do it.

You stand up, brush your legs, and spread your arms a little. You suck in one last breath, and jump.

The wind whips through your hair, and gives you a sudden rush of emotions.

They say that when you are near certain death, your life flashes before your eyes. But that's not what happens. Thoughts rush through your head.

This is really quite peaceful

I love this

I've never been this happy before!

I wonder who is watching this

What if there are children here

What clothes will they bury me in?

Will I even be buried?

The pavement is coming so close

Will this hurt?

Will I even have time to process the pain?

What happens when I die?

Will I go to heaven or hell?

Or do I just die...nothing else...

I'm not sure I want this.

In the final few seconds, you come back to reality, and you feel a pang of regret as your heart beats faster and faster.
You don't want to die.

You want to live.

You want to make amends with your friend, and drink peppermint mochas at Starbucks with her, and go last minute Christmas shopping for each other, and go on walks in the global warming temperature, and look at the gorgeous lights with her.

But it's too late.

You let out a split second scream as your body hits the pavement and it's over.