lioness

Part 1

 I have no idea what I have to do right now, Do I have to be afraid and run away... or stay and take him as my shelter. His actions so far make me want to stay by his side, only him, seeking no help from anyone else.

I'm overwhelmed with a sense of awe toward him, his frightful face features... it's not normal at all. It's hard enough for me to look at his face for more than 30 seconds, and then I start feeling confused, scared and look away... I can't help it...

But they fear him too, so I think it's in my best interest....

How he  looks like is not his fault, I know that.
I wish I could talk and look to him in a normal way, at least to thank him,  but I feel disturbed...Honestly I can't help it...

He turns his face away... He feels ashamed, the shyer he became the more guilt I feel. He knows also the kind of terrifying voice he had, so he even avoids talking to me. It seems like I'm the only girl he care enough to hide how ugly he is from.

But how can I hide my fear! ... I'm sitting here on my bed and he is sitting on the floor next to me, but even so he is  still taller than me  with about two feet...Honestly I don't have the courtesy to act in this kind of situations...It breaks my heart, he even seems to understand my fears, my feelings of discomfort and even my attempts to avoid looking at his face don't seem to upset him at all.

I'm not used to men like you around me, not even the common guys. I  only used to men like my best friend brother for example, he is hot enough to make my other friends Glanced. But even him doesn't get a kind words from me, not him ... not anybody!!!, I am a big puffy,  and I have the right to be ...don't you see how I look?! ... My charm must have impressed you.

Despite the huge vanity I have, I feel no jealousy or hate from my friends, I have all the  focus and flirtation from all the boys ... and non for them ... and yet they love my company.

And you In particular...you've been working for my dad for a long time,  but you didn't grab my attention, it was only this one time I was in front of the shop waiting for some friends and it was a really hot day, and I got hit by the sun,  and its heat makes me want to cry, Suddenly I got covered by a shadow, I felt relief, cold, mild and joy.. I wondered if the clouds also love my company. But then I looked and I saw you hiding me away from the sun,your shadow seems like a cloud in the sky with your massive height and width ...My sight only reaches the level of your belt...

I ended up screaming Fearfully, I really couldn't help it, I panicked and ran away.Again I really couldn't help it, it was my first time seeing you this close! Or even seeing any body this big... I think I maybe saw you once or twice from the window... and even that time you were hiding yourself from me... And only from me.

despite your enormous body I'm your weakness point! ... I'm sorry...the way I was scared and ran must have made you feel mor ugly I'm sure..  

"SORRY" ...I said it... just came out of my mouth.... I think my deep feeling of guilt forced the word out of me.

With the silent moment we have, I really can't tell the kind of impact of this word on you. You are still looking away from me, I can't see your whole face , you are only giving me a partial look with side of your face ...no words 
till when you will hide your face and your voice?!

Honestly, long ago me saying SORRY to you was so much excluded, not that long,you can say until this morning... I'm not the kind of an apologizing person, I'm a shallow and moody one... I hang out with my friends, pick the kind of people whom I like so I allow them to talk to me, spending my father's money... may he rest in peace , he was only killed a couple of hours ago in his shop...alone, no one beside him, I even don't know the way he was killed.

I only heard two shots...I have no idea the way he is  wounded, does he look like he is sleeping,  or his mouth and eyes are opened like the  dead people I watch in horror movies!.....no no , I don't want to remember him like this, I only want to remember all the good things he did for me, and the only thing I can think of  right now is the most important ... that he sent you for me...sitting on my floor , near my bed, me and you alone in my room! 

He told you to come and protect me , he knew things will become complicated . Although he was dying, he was thinking only of me, and how you as the only one whom can protect me.

Without you here, I might have been facing my mom's fate right now, even though I still have no idea about what happened to her, but since they took her, I can only imagin the worst. 

But the only thing I could notice... is that you let them took her away, your eyes was on me...only me.