tear. // c.d.

him | II

"she came back," he mumbled, knowing how upset she came to be after expressing just how vulnerable she felt without the comfort of a full heart. after all, he knew exactly what that felt like.

"what do you mean?"

"I waited," he stated, head hung low and his hands fisted together atop the table where his coffee remained unsipped and hot, "I went back the next morning after I dropped her off that night and to my luck, she walked in not too long after. said she was hoping to find me here."

"wait, here?" the saddened girl replied, eyes wide with realization, "you guys met here? at this cafe?"

the beautiful boy nodded, "yeah, i guess that's why I'm here right now. reminiscing in what I've lost," he lightly laughed, reminding himself how pathetic he was for feeling so much hatred, anger, and empathy for one girl, "when she said she was looking for me, I thought I was the luckiest guy in the world. but in the end, luck doesn't exist."

her hair loose, red gloss perfectly shaping her lips, he was absolutely and utterly breath ridden. she didn't wear a heavy coat that morning, but a light sweater with a pair of joggers. once her footsteps nearing him echoed through his ears, he made sure his attention averted to her completely.

she didn't buy coffee, but she sat. her lips pursed together and her eyes intimidating. he shrunk back in his seat, reading over her like an open book with ripped edges. she wasn't as confident as she lead on and he could see that, could see past the red lip stain and black eyeliner that masked over the desperation within her. he knew just how much of an advantage this was but he decided not to take it. that would be considered nepitism against himself when she knew nothing of him. he couldn't decided whether he wished to keep it that way.

he remembers exactly what she stated that morning, word for word. the imprint of a statement burned onto his skin like a tattoo without ink, but still painful. an agreement she called it?

"last night didn't happen-- couldn't have happened. it was a one time thing and you were just being generous. I understand that, so I think leaving us off here is the best thing to do."

she said the words so silky, easily, as if it was a deed for charity done by him. she made it sound like she was the helpless and he was the help, just being 'generous.' the only thing he understood was taking a conversation to far was something he'd messed up on his part. but a one time thing? he had his beliefs and she had hers. he got that.

but he felt defeated, used. and although it was one time, one night, with absolutely nothing more than so much as a kiss happening, he enjoyed himself. for the longest time in awhile, he enjoyed the feel of walking under street lights at dark with someone right beside him. he enjoyed buying and listening to her, enjoyed spending his money on such a prized possession. but maybe that's all she was, a possession.

worthy of your attention but used for nothing more than display.

and he was indecisive.

"what happened? did she leave?" the girl spoke ever so softly, finally bringing herself to picking up the warm cup with coffee, sipping what she could while her eyes remained nailed to the beautiful boy across from her.

"no, I couldn't let her. I needed her to know that she wasn't some charity case, that I actually wanted to get to know her."

"well, did you?"

"enough."

he didn't know what was more alluring, the ineffable ability of describing just how she appeared, or the dull look in her brown irises that protested against the beaming, stealthy, aura she maintained. in some world away, it was like a magnet to him. he was clinging onto the mystery that was her, but with the rough patches of surface, his drawing was withdrawed.

she stayed that night. he reassured her over and over and over until the fact was pinned down on the table, the font easy to be read by even the confused of them all. she stayed and he sat. she took off her sweater, he took of his beanie. she was scared, he was terrified.

they talked all through the day, a questioning war, a laughing fit, a warm blush, all adding up to the masterpiece they created. apart, they were destructive, ruthless to the core. together, all was forgotten, and art is all that could be defined. they were mending, making amends. sprouting and growing. he didn't know whether love was something that he could fit into just what they were, he'd blurred the lines between attraction and a certain desperate want. but at the time, it didn't seem to matter.

by the end of the week, he lived just under the roof of her heart and she sat stretched around his pinky. a perfect remedy for those in search of healing, but a perfect recipe for impending toxins.

"I don't understand, everything seemed to be going well?" she asked, her lips paused on the top of the black cap that clung to the cup of coffee. her eyebrows raised and her eyes formed into pity puddles. he wasn't sure if he wanted to accept it, or refuse it.

"nothing that good ever goes well."

"something that good should be fought for," she sighed, "did you fight?"

it took everything not to back the chair away from the small table, lift himself high and storm out of the enclosed building. she didn't understand, didn't know just what was bound to happen. he couldn't fight the inevitable, couldn't fight something that was never there. he was communicating with the mere thought of air, breathing in false serenities, holding something that had already slipped away, he was living a dream, a dream that will soon be no better than death when eyes are open.

he was torn, he was indecisive.

"there was nothing to fight for to begin with."

she frowned.

-

helloo, I apologize for not updating sooner. I've been quite busy lately but I hope you enjoyed this chapter (:

p.s. these chapters are meant to be shorter than normal, so if it seems off or not enough, its because im trying to space out the way they tell their stories while not giving away so much in one chapter. but thank you for reading ((: