Part One
I sat in the bathroom against the door. All I can hear is the blaring Fall Out Boy from my bedroom. Sigh. I didn’t care what anyone thought anymore. Well I cared what Dan, my boyfriend of three years, thought, but I could hide these from him. I mean as far as I knew I had been doing a good job with hiding them so far. I pressed the blade to my wrist and slid it across my wrist fast. The first cut was always the hardest, but I always got through it. The paper thin skin on my wrists was proof that I had no problem with it. Seven cuts later my leggings were soaked in blood. I needed to clean up before the radio show was over. I got up and looked at the time,11:30 p.m.!!! Shit. He was going be home any minute. I couldn’t even finish my thoughts. I heard a knock on the door “Isabelle? Why is the music so loud” I didn’t answer. What the fuck am I going to do? “Are you alright? Let me in” this time he pounded on the door. “Isabelle! Please open the door” “Just a minute, Dan” I slid the blade in my pocket to hide it but doing so I sliced my thigh. Shit. “What are you doing in there?” He was about to lose it, I could tell. See he knew about my depression but I didn’t think he knew about my self-harm, and I wanted to keep it that way. I start crying. Shit. Shit. Shit. What am I going to do? I didn’t even have time to clean myself up before Dan busted down the door. I dropped the blade on the floor, I was shaking and crying hysterically, there was blood on my arm and running down my thigh. “I’m sorry Dan” I said choking on tears. “I have tried to stop, I really have. But you don’t understand how hard this is for me.” He just stood there for a minute “Isabelle, I understand what it’s like to be depressed.” He raised his sleeve and there were scars all up his arm, they were old really old, barely noticeable, but they were there. “ I used to dream about dying Isabelle, but three years ago I found a reason to stop. The reason needless to say, is you. I haven’t laid a blade to my skin since February 27, 2010. I love you, and that’s all I need” “I will try and stop Dan. I can’t promise you, but I promise I will try.” I start to clean your arm off, then Dan kissed my cuts all the way up my arm to my lips never breaking contact with me. I kissed him passionately, feeling better than I had in years. I think it was knowing that Dan did know how I felt that made me realize that I could stop one day, and that day was going to be today. Dan bandaged my arm and thigh. This left your thighs bare. Dan kissed me again, this time lifting me up and wrapping me around his waist carrying me off to the bedroom, not once breaking the intense pleasure that was going on in our mouths. We both lay down on the bed and he started kissing my every scar. All over my arms, down my hips and thighs. I started to get teary eyed; I couldn’t believe someone loved me this much. He made his way back to my lips and he wiped away the tears that had cascaded down my cheeks. I kissed him yet again and after the kiss was broken he whispered in my ear “Will you do me the honor of being my wife Isabelle?” I kissed him intensely “Of course” I breathed out. He slipped a solitaire diamond ring onto my finger. We started to kiss once more; I had never felt more loved in my entire life. July 1, 2013. The day someone gave me a purpose, and changed my life forever.
I am going to update this at least every two weeks. Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think of it:)
