THE DIVINE COMEDY MMIX
BY Walt
Copyright Sautter 2010
ACT I
NARRATOR
It's a beautiful day in heaven, blue skies, occasional white puffy clouds, a light breeze and of course, perfect temperature. It's an everyday in heaven!
(GABRIELE enters with wings and wearing a white robe.
GOD old man in a white robe, with flowing white beard.
God is in His splendor, seated on his throne.)
GOD
"Why are you always sneaking up on me like that? Can't you flap a wing or something to let me know you're here?"
GABRIELE
"Sorry Sir! I just kinda thought that you knew I was here. You being all-knowing and such."
GOD
"That's right, I am all-knowing, but I use the all-knowing for the big stuff, like keeping the planets going the right way and the sun working; not to check out the little stuff, like you sneaking up on me all the time.
So what is it that you want?"
GABRIELE
"Well Sir, there's a lot of talk going on down there lately.
GOD
"Talk about what? Where?"
GABRIELE
"Earth, of course Sir. They're talk about the Second Coming. The Rapture!"
GOD
"The raptors. Don't tell me that they're extinct already? I planned on having them around for at least another hundred thousand years! What did it? That global warming thing?
Wait till I get my hands on...
On second thought, let me call Al Gore."
GABRIELE
"No Sir! Rapture! Not raptor!"
GOD
"Oh! Rapture!
(God pauses and hesitates)
"You know when you get to be my age, eternal that is, sometimes your hearing starts to go."
GABRIELE
"Why don't you just fix it? You could do it with a wave of your hand."
GOD
(With a somber look)
"When you get to be eternal, the hands don't wave so good either.
Anyway, tell me more about this Rapture thing."
GABRIELE
"Well, lots of people are saying Jesus is coming back and soon!"
GOD
"He was just there a couple thousands years ago.
What do they want?
Do they want him to move in full time?
Isn't once in a while, like every million years or so, enough for them?
Hey, I'm like everybody else, I want some quality time with my kid too!
I don't want him going on all these long business trips all the time. Last time he was gone thirty-three years!"
GABRIELE
YOU ARE READING
The Divine Comedy MMIX
HumorYes! JC is back! "What would Jesus do?" That is the question that is to be answered. This time things are different. Hiring the help isn't as easy as it used to be. It's not that simple to get good apostles these days! Political correctness and mode...
