Baby I'm A Sinner

Chapter 24

"Is that all?" I huff, crossing my arms. I know I'm acting like a child, but it's what my defense mechanism does when I know I'm being cornered and made uncomfortable.

"Yes, that is all." He mumbles and stares back at the road, but doesn't start the car. He sighs and opens his mouth but then closes again.

"Say what you want to say."

"I just-I care about you okay? And I really want you to be healthy because I couldn't." Niall stops for a second as if to overthink whatever he's about to say next. "I couldn't imagine losing you over something like this."

"Something like what?" I ask, crossing my arms. Even though my heart is melting because of his words, the discussion still makes me uncomfortable and I still feel the need to get into protective mode.

"Something you can fix. Something I can help you with."

"You can't just snap your fingers and make it go away, Niall. It's an eating disorder. A mental problem. I can't make it stop just because I want to."

"No, but you can try. And I can help. You became anorexic because you wanted to become thinner right?"

I nod, not saying anything.

"Well, you can start by eating more in constant portions."

I bite my lip. "I can try."

"Please. That's all I ask of you."

"Alright then, glad we settled it. Can we go now? I'm actually a bit hungry."

My words put a smile on his face and he starts the car, before he continues driving towards out initial destination. I end up eating the whole portion of spaghetti and he drives me home, assuring me that he'll kick everyone out of his house once he gets there.

-

We continue dating with no fights at all for the next two weeks, and I'm so deep in exams and dates with Niall that I don't even notice graduation is already two days away. How is that even possible?

I'm better with my disorder, because I haven't purged ever since that night at the Italian restaurant when Niall and I talked, and I'm trying to eat normally, but healthy.

Before I know it, my mother is pulling a graduation robe over my head, tops it off with the hat and snaps a thousand pictures of Katherine and I faking smiles.

The schoolyard is filled with seniors dressed in their graduation robes and excitedly talking about college and finally being on their own, but to be honest, I'm absolutely terrified. I don't want it to end, because I like not being responsible for everything, and most of all, I like having being with my squad all the time.

I know for a fact that most of us want to go to London, but Katherine, Eleanor, and Jake want to stay in Manchester, and Harry wants to go to Sheffield, even though he also applied in London.

"After this shitshow is over, we're going to Starbucks." Niall whispers in my ear after we've sat down on the seats right by the stage.

Reyall: http://www.polyvore.com/24.1/set?id=187022031

"All of us?"

He nods and places his arms around me with a smile. "So I got us tickets for Leeds festival in a month."

"There were tickets left?" I ask.

"No, but my father knows some people so I managed to score us ten tickets."

"How much is one?"

"Like, thirty pounds or something? I thought they'd be more expensive."

"Oh. That's goo then. I can pay you back after-"