What am I

17: Don't be afraid to love him

Seri's POV:

Watching Harry sleep was heaven to me, the way his features soften and a small smile plays on his lips. In his dreamless sleep he was content and all the troubles of his life slipped away.

He was at peace in his sleep and after the hour of awkwardness we just had, I'd finally convinced him to rest. Promising to keep my wolf restrained and to stay out of his head. She was so compulsive and determined to make him love her...love us...the way we loved him.

"You've watch over him for too long, Seri." The familiar voice didn't startle me. I knew he'd come sooner or later.

"Perhaps..." I sighed. I knew he could sense the feelings radiating off me for the boy in front of me.

"Was it wrong to let him think I didn't care for him in that way...yes, but being the selfish creature that I am, I couldn't take the chance of him finding out the truth and hating me later on." I finally turned to look at him, his kind and loving eyes the same green shade as Harry's.

He just chuckled, the amusement clear in his eyes. "Why do you fight your fate? Do you truly believe they sent you just to keep him alive? He," he pointed to Harry, "is your future, he will be the one to redeem you...to love you." He finished with sweet voice.

"There could never be a future for him and I. In the end I will leave him, I'll have no choice. So isn't it better that I break my own heart now than his when all this ends." I could feel the anger rolling off me as I continued the conversation.

"Isn't it better to give him hope of finding human love, of living a normal life? One I could never give him." Tears stung my eyes as I thought of the life I'd love to live with Harry, but would never get the chance to.

"I cannot tell you the future, Seri, but I can tell you it's not wrong to love him the way you do. No one will ever know him like you do, you who've been with him since the beginning." His smile was knowing but his eyes held a sliver of doubt.

"You're too wise for your own good, Zekiel." I smirked, "Yes, I've been here too long. Watching over him...loving him. I care for him more than I should but I never had a choice. The moment I saw him, I knew I'd love him...but this, these feelings...they have to stop now. I can't do what's needed if I'm constantly in fear of losing him."

My tears flowed at that thought, the thought of not being with him. He didn't know I've loved him for last 18 years and it was something I would never tell him. I needed to distance my feelings for him and do what I came to do.

Zekiel suddenly grabbed me, pulling me into a tight hug. He understood the pain of not being with the one you love even if we were natural enemies, he still wished me happiness. His kind heart was something I was grateful his son inherited.

"Have faith my Dear, for even though you think He's abandoned you, He has a plan for us all. Don't be afraid to love him." He said as his kissed my forehead and vanished.

I hate it when he does that! I thought as, once again, Zekiel left me with words of hope but a feeling of despair. Even if God had a plan for me, the end would always be the same. A life without Harry.

The sound of Harry whimpering drew me from my lonely thoughts. He was tossing and turning, a frown tugging at his beautiful feature as sweat began to form on his forehead. Without warning he sat up.

"Seri?!" he yelled as he opened his eyes, looking around frantically until his eyes landed on me. Before I could process anything he was up and running to me. "You're safe, you're ok." He cried as he pulled me into his arms.

Savoring the moment, the feeling of his warmth and scent of his minty breath before I answered. "Of course I'm safe, Harry...shhh...its ok. See, I'm perfectly fine." I said pulling back slightly to show him I was never in any danger.

"Don't ever leave me, Seri." Pulling me back into his arms, we stood there for what felt like minutes but in reality was nearly two hours. Finally I was able to calm him down enough to tell me what happened.

"I was dreaming...I think....you and I were near a stream. It was so beautiful. We were laying there watching the clouds as our feet dangled in the warm water...you...you were different. We were different." He stammered out looking down. Finding new fascination with his bare toes wiggling on my plush carpet.

"What do you mean 'we were different'?" I asked, as he blushed and continued to wiggle his toes. "Harry..." I warned, he was keeping something from me.

"We...we were together. Y-you...loved me." He shyly admitted. I could see the hope in his eyes but knew better than to allow it. Before I could speak he continued. "But then, something came and took you. Everything went black and when I was finally able to see...you were..." tears weld up in his eyes, breaking my heart.

All I wanted to do was to wrap him in my arms and tell him I would never leave him, that I did love him and that everything would work out. But I couldn't.

"I was what, Harry?" I asked with no emotion in my voice.

"You were...dead." He whispered, sinking to his knees. "Please, just tell me you won't leave me! T-that you won't die on me." He cried with his head in his hands.

Doing the best I could I walked over and patted his back. He surprised me by hugging my leg tightly. "Harry, it was just a dream."

He thankfully cut me off, "But if felt so real. More real than any of my other dreams." As I stared at him a thought hit me.

"Harry...were you in your body in this dream or were you watching it...kind of like you were someone else there?" I kneeled down, taking his face in my hands. No matter how wonderful it felt to feel him and stare into those green orbs, I had to remember that this was important.

"I-I was watching, first from across the stream then from above. When I found you, I was looking down at myself." He said, curiosity clear in his eyes. "D-does it matter? It was just a dream right?" I knew he wanted reassurance but what he got was a lie.

"Yes Harry, it was just a dream. Don't worry, it's over now and I'm here. I promise I won't die on you." I forced a laugh to lighten the mood. I didn't like the idea of lying to him further but I couldn't tell him that what he just saw wasn't a dream.

It was premonition of what would come if I allowed myself to continue to love him.