The meaning of Life, the pursuits of happiness, I think therefore I am and-

Day 1

She was gone. Yet I felt nothing. Why? I should feel something, it's a major tragedy of my life. It was strange, I didn't know why, but as I walk out of the hospital, I feel the eyes in my head spinning. I stood on one leg, my other one leaning next to a wall. Quite strange indeed, I didn't feel the dread. I felt fine, I took in a deep breath and casually looked at my feet as I walked down the steps of the hospital one by one.

Thoughts were everywhere in my mind, incoherent messy thoughts. Why can't I feel anything? My eyes wandering by the surrounding as I kept walking in a daze. Then I caught a girl in a wheelchair by the corner of my eye. I took a quick glance. My glance was stopped midway and was turned into a stare.

I followed her suddenly, I am not easily entranced. But this girl was just beautiful, she had long hair with shades of grey down to her neck, a strange bright green eyes. Her Lips, however, were grey, she looks beautiful nonetheless. Her wheelchair navigated uneasily against the concrete as the woman moving the wheelchair display clearly a frown of frustration. The small drops of rain became bigger.

I went forward, with the pretense to help, and asked the woman.

"Excuse me, you seem to be having difficulty with her wheelchair, I would like to help."

"Thanks for the thought, but no."

She said as she tries to open the umbrella, I caught a glance at the girl again. Her beauty was even more immense up close, I felt that I looked longer than I should but I didn't care. It doesn't matter to me anymore, the caregiver gave me a look and quickly tries to wheel her away. After she has gotten far enough, I went after her of course, but from a distance, I pretended to look at the bus stop but kept her at the corner of my eye. I had honestly never done this in my entire life, but she was just so bloody beautiful.

What happened in the hospital was still hanging in the back of my mind as I strolled. I suddenly stop. Why am I doing this? My eyes start spinning again, do I actually feel fine?

My mother was gone. She died of food poisoning, she was still joking with me about that yesterday, stomach's growling, was the steak too raw? Sure be dead by tomorrow. I laughed and said no. We slept soundly until this morning. I never felt so urgent in my whole life, I always bitch about how movie character doing stupid things and being too emotional. That was me. I was so bloody incoherent, it took me 10 minutes for them to take down my address before they sent the ambulance out. When they arrive, I suddenly felt hope. I realize how idiotic I was being and dying? That's just stupid cynicism. Haha. It won't happen. Won't. I haven't been so convinced of something my entire life, I actually took out my phone to check on the texts while I was with her in the ambulance. It just felt like it won't happen, nothing bad will ever happen. It was just unreal.

I felt my leg's shiver and I fall. A loud slam, I tasted the bitterness that I always get whenever my head smashed against something too hard. I stared at the sky, drops of water in my eye. Blinking, I kept looking on; My hand was still in my pocket. The rain was coming down harder, people were looking at me. For quite a long while I laid very still. I was still in a state of daze, blank mind. When you stare into a space and it just...felt good for some reason.

I finally stood up when someone offered me to go back to the hospital, "I am fine," I spit out the words lazily. As I got back up my feet, I saw the girl watching me, her caregiver was looking on too with a disapproving look on her face. It was surreal because this time she finally showed an expression on her blank face. It was a smirk, out of all expression, a smile, a giggle, a muffled laughter. But a smirk? Why was she smirking? It might not be a smirk either, her beauty concealed and it needs a new name for her expression she is making now.

When her caregiver was about to wheel her away (still looking at me in disgust), the girl stopped her. Move her lips.

"I