THE ROAD BACK TO YOU

Pag-Ibig

They did not exactly pick up where they left off.

It was not like how it was written in books or how it was portrayed in the movies wherein they just took one look at each other and then everything was forgotten.

It took a while before they can even stand being in the same room together and before the awkwardness between them dissipated.

It took even longer than that for her to be able to get over the memory of being once upon a time pretend married to him and for him to move on because in the end, she didn't choose him.

It was totally unprecedented.

That one day they would just ease back into the silence of sitting side by side comfortably together when they're alone at Lola Pachang's or of his arms being the first place that she runs to whenever Jigs is once again in beast mode and on a rampage.

And yet here they are.

Clark, with his comforting words, piercing stares and warm hands that hold hers and Leah, with her soft voice, genuine smiles and tight hugs that never fail to soothe him.

They are back into the usual rhythm of an old relationship that feels familiar and exactly the same.

But the fact remains that it can never ever be that because their circumstances have changed and now everything is different.

They'd like to make themselves believe that it is because they shared a special friendship but deep inside they both know that they have gone through so much to be just friends.

She staked her future when she returned to Jigs so that he can keep his family and he risked his heart for her when he told her that he loves her despite the fact that he knew she's made up her mind about going back to him.

They've crossed so many lines and felt such intense feelings that they can never be "just friends".

If Clark realizes it he doesn't say.

If Leah realizes that, she thinks she's mistaken.

The light catches on Leah's engagement ring.

The diamond one that Jigs bought and not the one he bought for 5 dollars at some cheap toystore when he didn't know any better.

The sight of it makes Clark's heart ache in such a painful way he feels like he's been physically punched in the gut.

But just like any other day he tries to convince himself that he's over her.

He tells himself that what he feels is nothing more than a familiar stir in old feelings.

It was nothing more but melancholy, a wishful thinking over what could have been and over things that would never, ever happen.

----

The adage that love is lovelier the second time around was proven false with Jigs and her because they argue over the simplest things.

He gets mad over Clark mostly and their marriage (albeit fake), and he never fails at every opportunity to throw that fact in her face.

He cannot get past his jealousy and insecurity and his hatred for Clark which he channels mostly unto her.

It doesn't even matter that at the end of it all she chose to go back to him.

It doesn't even count that through it all she consciously decided to stay with him.

---

It happens almost every day.

Their fights.

She will work long hours in the agency and she will make excuses so that Jigs would understand why they couldn't meet or why she isn't home at such a late hour.