Confessions of a Failing Freshmen (College)

Failing Semester

**** THIS IS NOT IN ORDER TO ANY PARTS THAT COME AFTER****

 Yup, I failed, the feeling of guilt is never fleeting. The feeling of warming alcohol slither down into my throat calming the guilt and soothing the way for the smoke that dulls my anxiety as I wander after numb across campus just looking for the random dorm room that has my extra clothes and money. As my raw thighs rub together causing blood to drip down my legs making me wanting to pee more, as a slightly buzzed Ash Catchem walks me home. I word vomit every single insecurity I have ever bothered me. Rambling he leads me back complaining that I have to pee and I am not drunk. His tower is in sight I start to run, I slip him my ID and I run to the bathroom which seems to warm me up from the 28 degrees covering my thighs and my frizzy hair dies. Once I stop peeing for 5 mins straight I look in the mirror and man, I ma no longer drunk. I grab my ID run out wrap my jacket around me tight to cover up the smell of alcohol and weed as the officers pass me eyeing my from head to toe. Checking me out, and even have to cuts to cat call behind them. Running into the lobby where judgy DA's check my ID and judge me slutty Cat costume, (I am not fat.. Just thick, but I was wearing a child's Large unitard, so..) hand me back my ID and get up and press the ellavator for me. It's weed smelling embrace embrace me like a hug from an old friend to distract me from it uneasy take off. Looking at all the miss calls from him, the shakey contraption opens and dings loudly so everyone can judge me silently as I walk past there fake wood doors to my room. It takes a couple minutes to fumble my keys as I hear the footsteps I have avoided many times before. The officers that were outside round the corner, in this terrible lighting you can seem my sweaty dancing smudged my makeup and the cold air froze it on my face. They can clearly see now that I am not exactly 21. The key finally fits in the hole and I turn the knob as the officer eye rapes me once again asks if I need assitence as he comes to see why I am so groggy, I slam the fake wooden door in his face and locking the door very loudly, I climb quickly into my bed and thank god that my annoying alcohol hating roommate was not there.