Changed [Watty Awards 2013]

15. Confusion

I felt nothing for him anymore.

Nick’s hurt expression turned into hatred. I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or at himself, but I was furious.

“You can’t just come up here, on my best friend’s doorstep and say you were watching me make out with Matt. You can’t just waltz up to me and make him uncomfortable and you sure as hell can’t kiss me. Not anymore.”

Nick’s eyes fell to the ground and he nodded. “Can you come over and talk to us for a while? I want to work out the Noah situation.”

I nodded and walked into the house and held up a finger to Nick and disappeared inside. I pulled on Matt’s hand and led him into the backyard.

“I’m going over to his Pack house. I have to talk to him about something.”

He blinked. “What something?”

“I’ll tell you when I get back. I promise.”

He nodded and pulled me into a hug. We wrapped each other’s arms around the other’s waist and I rested my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head and sighed.

“I’m not happy with you going, but I trust you.”

I looked up at him. “Thank you, Matt.” I leaned up and kissed him lightly. “I’ll be back later.”

He nodded and kissed me again.

I pulled away from him and yelled out to Peyton. “I’ll be back!”

“’Kay,” was her reply as I left the house and walked to Cliffhold with Nick.

***

When we reached the house, I stared at it like I’ve never seen it before. The house looked so foreign and the very familiar feeling of being an outcast was evident. I didn’t feel like I belonged here anymore.

Nick sighed and grabbed my shoulders, looking into my eyes. “Hey, I don’t want you to feel awkward or anything. I want you to go in there and act like you’re a part of the Pack.”

“What if they hate me?” I closed my eyes.

“They don’t. Dad told you he didn’t blame you for wanting to leave. They’re madder at me.”

“What happens afterwards?” I asked, staring into his blue eyes.

He shrugged. “I’d like to be your friend. I don’t want our relationship to be completely done. If you’re going to date Matt, then I want to be friends… if it’s okay with you.”

I nodded. “I just don’t want your parents to hate me.”

“I understand that, but they don’t. Neither does Kyle or Jared.” He bit his lip. “But do you want to be just a member of the Pack? No catch, no anything. Just… be a member.”

I nodded. All I wanted to do was go back to being a part of his life. I don’t want us to stop talking just because of something that happened. I still loved him, and no matter how much I tried to fathom how much he screwed up, I screwed up way worse. I was just being a hypocrite.

Nick led me into Cliffhold and I was greeted by Jared, Emily, Eric and Caelon. Jared, Emily and Eric were all smiling at me but Caelon was ignoring me. What was his problem? He hasn’t talked to me in a while and he’s ignoring me?

“Kyle should be here soon.” Emily said.

Nick nodded and walked into the kitchen. I looked over at his family. Emily walked over to me and wrapped me into her arms. I instantly fell into her embrace. I needed to talk to her.