The Affectionate Player - Part2

Chapter 7

"Look, Max. I know it's out of the blue and that I told you before that I wasn't interested in knowing, but since all this has happened with Geri, my outlook on life has changed somewhat." There's nothing I can add to this news, no wonder she feels lost.

"She tricked me and snatched our daughter from under my nose. And then blackmailed me into handing over our son. I need to understand what would make a person do that. If she's known all this time that I was her family, then what could I have done to make her hate me this much?"

"I don't know, Gracie. Did you tell your parents? Is that why you got so upset?"

"Mum didn't understand why I felt the need to seek out the Devenney's. She practically said the sleaze bag journalist was right and that I was suffering from depression!"

"She what?" I growl, quietly. Fuck! I'm outraged!

"Please, Max. Don't get angry. I've already lost my cool today with them and it's just made me feel like shit. I don't want you ending up in an argument with them. It's bad enough what they've been suggesting already." My ears prick up at this revelation.

"What have they been saying, as if I can't guess?"

"I shouldn't have mentioned it. I..."

"Gracie. We can't be at our best for Holly and Monty with half-truths between us." Meeting my eyes, she gazes intently. She doesn't argue because she knows I'm right about this.

"I get that," she whispers.

"What is it?" Willpower forgotten, I reach across the table and clasp her hand.

"They've told me I need to go back to Scotland with them."

"Of all the..." Letting go, I reach for my glass and drink some Champagne momentarily ignorant to the fact that I should sip it.

"I'm not going with them. I've told them that."

"And their answer was....?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yes, Gracie. That's the point. I do!"  Squirming at my reaction, she shakes her head.

"Okay, I'll tell you. They said that you've proven time and again that you're unreliable, and that I must be desperate for your attention. That's when they suggested that I could be depressed, you know because I've decided to stay with you because according to my dad, no woman in their right mind would put up with ... what was it he said? Oh, yes... 'His unforgivable behaviour' and I quote."

I sit stunned into silence. I can't even argue because my conduct was unforgivable. Why the fuck did I listen to Steve bloody Brooks? As this thought crosses my mind, I see my son's beautiful, innocent face and know it was exactly the right thing to do. I can't regret my decision. He's home safely but it still doesn't stop panic from setting in.

What if Gracie wakes up one morning and decides what we've agreed is no longer enough for her. The renovation will help give her the space she needs but for how long? What if she meets someone else later and decides to move out taking my kids to play happy families with some other lucky bastard?!

And then it hits me. What I'd said to Gracie the night Monty was taken. 'The cost of loving you, is losing him'. Except I couldn't lose my son, so I lost her instead. There should have been no choice to make. I should have found another way. Suddenly, I'm no longer hungry as this truth buries itself further into my ugly soul.

"Max?" My name slips huskily from her tongue. Raising my face in response, her expression remains fixed as if she detects my every doubt.

"I'm not leaving London without you." Without me? What the hell does that mean?