The Third Nip

Never did she know, that on the day of her wedding, Reginald had 3 nipples. It was located just under her belly button, and every day it continued to grow. She thought it must’ve just been a mole. Then it grew. Reginald married Stubert early August. And yet, she was too scared to tell him about her third nipple, as it was now located in the middle of her newly third breast.

                “Whatever shall I do?” she said one night, when suddenly, a giant boob come plummeting down the chimney.

                “I have come to cure you of your boob nonsense…” roared the boob. Reginald stared at the boob in awe. She was awestruck.

                “Gosh, boob, thanks so much!” exclaimed Reginald.

                “Please, call me Annaleise,” said the boob, and he turned to leave the house. “Follow me, Reginald.” So Reginald and Annaleise the boob made their way down the street and began their magical adventure to cure the boob nonsense. Suddenly, they heard a loud noise in the distance. It was Annaleise the boob’s best friends, Olga the side boob and Keith the infected nipple. They were arm in arm, singing a jolly song. Annaleise began to cry in excitement, and rushed to introduce Reginald to her precious friends. Reginald showed off her three nipples, blushing. Olga gasped.

                “What a beautiful set of nipples you have, old Reggie!”

Keith bowed down and began to pray to the boob God, he had never seen a more beautiful nipple.

                “Reginald here is not proud of her third nipple,” said Annaleise, shaking his head. Keith and Olga could not believe their ears. How could someone not want a third nipple???

                “Yes,” continued Annaleise. “She is in shame of such beauty.”

                “I am afraid Stubert will not like my third nipple.”

                “Not to worry,” said Keith. “I’m a bit pus-ey sometimes but it just turns Olga on, doesn’t it Olga?” and with that, Olga’s nipple catapulted outwards, pushing Reginald far far away. She screamed as she found herself in a new land.

                “Greetings!” said a creature. “I am scrotum! Lord of the semen!”

                “Hello, I’m Reginald,” said Reginald.

                “I’m Trunky,” said another.

                “They call me crabs,” said another. “Where do you live?”

                “I live in a house.”

“You don’t say?” said Trunky. “Why are you here?”

“I am here to embark on a journey through time and space, in an attempt to rid myself of my third nipple,” began Reginald. Crabs walked up to Trunky and held her in his arms. It was such an inspirational story that he did not know what to do with himself.

The group continued on their way, and stopped at a shop. It was a very interesting shop, full of bras in all shapes and sizes.

                “How may I help you?” asked an old lady. “I am Junkertrunk, at your service.” Annaliese shook Junkertrunks hand, before spinning around and knocking her out with his enormous nipple and boob flat. “That was a close one,” he said, before continuing into the shop.

Suddenly Reginald fell on the floor, clutching her third nipple in pain.

                “REGINALD!” they all screamed. Her glorious nipple was bleeding.

                “My friends,” she whispered. “The things I’ve learnt, I’ll never forget.” She coughed, desperate for a drink.

                “Here!” said Annaleise, spraying her booty juice onto Reginald. She slurped it up painfully.

                “I’m dying my friends.” Trunky was so upset her shrivelled up on the floor next to her. They all did. And they all died together. Little did they know….Reginald’s third nipple was something much bigger than they ever thought. It exploded, out coming a small boy. His name was Donkey. Donkey looked around at the new world he had been miraculously born into. He knew his mother and squeezed her third, exploded nipple before hugging Trunky and kissing Scrotum.

                “Come Donkey,” said Annaleise who had survived. “I shall take you to the real world.” Donkey was amazed at the world around him. Whatever was he to do now. Annaleise bent down low.

                “Hop on top of my great booby body, Donkey,” said Annaleise. “And I will show you the world.” Donkey clambered up, gripping the boob with all his might. As they bounced off into the sunset, Donkey stared at the corpses of his dead mother and her friends, and all their breasty goodness.

                “Hold up, good buddy!” said Annaleise, and he bounced up to a McDonalds drive through. “Now this is living, Donkey,” he said, before spraying the McDonalds workers with delicious booby juice and bouncing away, cackling with glee. Before long, Donkey had got bored of Annaleise. So he sliced off her nipple and threw him/her in a creek to die.

                “Hello,” said a voice behind Donkey. He turned around to find a very pretty girl behind him. She smiled, trying to look over at the sinking boob.

                “What are you doing?”

                “Nothing.” She was so beautiful, he couldn’t believe it! he couldn’t stop staring at her chest…her perfectly flat chest.

                “I’m Pataytee.”

                “Donkey.” And just like that, they fell in love. Donkey adored Pataytee, but one day…everything crashed down.

                “You…you have breasts,” he whispered.

                “Well, they’re just beginning to grow. What’s wrong Donkey?” everything flashed back. His mother, Annaleise, all the boobs. They must be destroyed!

                “I’m sorry that this has to happen,” and donkey sliced off what little breasts she had. She was very disappointed with him.

                “That wasn’t very nice Donkey. I quite