Safe In A Stranger's Arms

Chapter Forty Nine

As my eyes wandered around the room, I felt the silence fall around me. It was crippling and haunting and straight up creepy. You'd expect to see a waiting room filled with families, nurses running down the hallway and people pacing back and forth waiting to see their loved ones but none of that existed. The chairs were empty, the room was empty, and the halls were empty. It was just a dead room with the four walls coming closer towards me.

Although I loved silence and appreciated how much it kept me calm, I didn't like it any bit at that moment. It was the type of silence you could hear. It crawled beneath me and flew around me as I continued to wait and wait.

The worst part was that I didn't even know what I was waiting for. Was a doctor supposed to come and speak to me? Were the nurses at the lobby supposed to be talking to me and asking me questions? Was I supposed to be cleaning my hands from Justin's blood? I was beyond confused. All I knew was that Justin was not in a good state and without him, neither was I.

I was lost without him. He kept me grounded every single time my mind would fly off to space. Whether it was over thinking or sleepless nights, he was always there to help me with the things that I was never able to get through.

He invaded my mind with every smile, every kiss, every encounter. The way his fingers would perfectly fit in between the spaces of mine, the way his hands would perfectly cup my face when we kissed, the way his arms perfectly wrapped around my petite waist. We fit each other so fucking perfectly and I couldn't imagine us not being together.

Looking back at the time, I was such a vulnerable little girl and I still was. I never changed appearance wise or personality wise. But the only thing that did change was my perspective on love.

Love wasn't something that was easy to describe and as I continued to think, I realized it would never be. It was like trying to describe the taste of water when overall, I still didn't know if it really had a taste or not. But I knew the love I had for Justin was worth a shot at explaining.

It was that butterflies-in-your-stomach type of love. It wasn't something you could grasp or something you could reach, it was a feeling. An absolutely precious and breathtaking type of feeling that you'd wish to feel 'til the day you die. It was the type of feeling you'd never want to let go of. A feeling so empowering that it just tops everything else you could ever feel.

I thought of it like coming home from a tiring day of work. Your hair is in a drastic mess and the sweat stains on your shirt are all dried up. You smell like the back of a restaurant and you look like you're holding a ton of water on your slouched shoulders. As you take sloppy steps towards your house, you unlock the door and walk in with the bliss hitting you in an instant. You close the door behind you and as you enter your room and fall onto your bed, your warm covers make contact with your gentle skin and everything seems to be okay. Sure, your feet hurt and your arms feel like they're about to fall off but as long as you have your comfortable bed to support your weak body and your pillow to hug your fragile mind, then everything seems to be a little bit better because you know at the end of the day, when the suffering is over, your bed will always be there for you.

That was how I interpreted my love for Justin. It was never-ending, no matter what came in the way of it, I was always there to give him the support he needed and he was always there to give me the support that I needed. It was a perfect balance.

However, I knew it wasn't something that was supposed to last. Maybe the feeling would still be there but the relationship itself was something I secretly doubted. I never dreamed of forever. I knew something was going to break Justin and I apart and as Dylan and Ryan came back with the bagel I asked for, I continued to think and think.