Secret Desires [Bk 1]

Secret Desires

"Hey babe, we haven't seen each other in a while, I was hoping you could come over for my grandmothers birthday next week, so we could spend some time together. But anyway, call me when you get this... I love you."

Message Deleted.

"Baby, are you ignoring me? I've called you like a hundred times. Please, call me back. I love you."

Message deleted.

Dragging my hand over my face, I sighed.
I really didn't know why I was ignoring my girlfriend of four years now. It's just that, whenever I'm with her, I never feel that spark I hear about so much. My heart never flutters, and my stomach doesn't do somersaults when I see her, or hear her voice.
Every time I tell her I love her, I don't feel the guilt that I should because I'm lying to her.

I don't feel anything. And I hate myself for it.
Why can't I put meaning into those 'I love yous' we exchange almost everyday? Why can't my heart stutter when she kisses me, or holds my hand? I scolded myself. I knew why. Of course I knew why.

It was simply because I was inlove with another man.