White Flames (JBFF)

                                                                 JUSTIN'S P.O.V.     

"Just fucking give me the money David! I already gave you the damn drugs, 2x more than you asked for!" I was so pissed at him, he owed me $500 for getting him this bullshit. I had to sneak inside some drunk ass guy's house while he was outside on the patio fucking his bitch on a table.

    "Calm down Justin, buddy." David smirked as he pat my shoulder, pissing me off even more, "I got your money, right here in my pocket." He pat his pocket this time, showing me it was in there.

"Then why won't you fucking give me it?!" I practically yelled, causing David to let out a dark chuckle. "This isn't funny David! I'm broke & haven't eaten in nearly 3 days!"

"I like seeing you squirm, Bieber." He smirked, handing me the money. "$800 bud. Now get out! I'll call you when I need your help.." David walked away with his hands in his pockets, juggling around the weed he had stuffed in there. I left, counting the cash over & over again, happy to finally be able to feed my mom & I. It was Sunday night at around 7:30ish when I left. I stopped by the high school to check the Lost & Found Bin for any new clothes that had been seemingly "lost" & thrown in there. As always, there were plenty of things people had lost, & like usual I took them. I always thought about & wondered how people could be so careless as to letting their things be thrown in there, & for a poor piece of trash like me to take them. I stuffed them in my car which was one of those classic Mustangs, & left to go get some grub for the night. I came home to my mom sitting in the living room with her head in her hands. "Why do you have the lights out ma?" I asked, concerned.

"No electricity Justin.." She said as she looked at me, her eyes puffy from crying. I sighed, walked over to the couch, sat next to her, holding the box of food in my lap. "I got us some food, & $790 from helping out David." I tried to smile & handed her some take out. "Your favorite ma, Kung Pao Chicken & fried rice." She smiled a little & opened the box, instantly being lit up with happiness. With her free hand, she put her arm around my shoulders. "Thank you, Justin. I love you."

"I love you too, ma." I opened my box, instantly smelling the sweet aroma of the orange chicken. "I'll give you some money to pay for the electricity tomorrow, okay?" All she could do was nod in appreciation as she devoured what was left of her meal. Then she looked at me, finished chewing & said, "Your grandparents' are going to help me pay off the last bit of the mortage...but they told me I need to come up with a grand before they do."

I clenched my jaw. How were we supposed to come up with a grand & have money left over to fucking feed ourselves?! I didn't say that to my mom, though. She told me how to get the money: she gets some from both of her jobs, while I get the rest from helping out that piece of shit named David. All I could honestly do was agree, I didn't want to say no to my mom. She only wanted to finish off the mortgage so that maybe we would have food everyday. I smiled over at her as she threw the take out box away & gave me a kiss goodnight. "I'll wake you up for school tomorrow." She went to her room, falling asleep 10 minutes later.

I finished my food & then went to shower. Before I got in, I got out my razor. The one thing that gave me pain but took it away at the same time. I took my shirt & pants off, standing there looking at myself in the mirror with the razor in my hand. "Here it goes..." I cut lines above my waist, clenching my jaw & gritting my teeth as I tried to hold in the pain of this damn thing. Tears were falling although you couldn't hear my cries even if you tried. This was the only time where I could let out the pain even if it did hurt. There was nothing in my life that I loved besides family. Everything else fucking sucked & all those people out there that hurt me are the reason I cut...in a place no one would see them unless I let them. After that, I took my shower, then of course going to sleep.