I've decided to rewrite a lot of this story and beta it quite a bit. I'm not entirely in love with how it is or with how my writing was. I doubt if anyone is actually still even reading this, as it's been so long, but life got busy, and I was in a good place (and I still am), but I've decided to try and pick this back up. Hope you enjoy!
The rain is falling, pouring,
Cold like tiny knives of ice.
The wind is howling, roaring,
Grip tightening like a vice.
You're just standing there, still, staring,
Your scowl scaring me to the bone.
Yet my heart to you I'm baring,
And I've never felt so alone.
At you I'm yelling, loudly,
Though I really want to run.
Yet my mind I speak, proudly,
As I know this must be done.
Why do you never show your smiles?
Your frown permanently in place.
For one I'd run a thousand miles,
As it causes my heart to race.
Do you not know how much I need you?
Don't you see that my life you have saved?
Do you not see how much I love you?
How, for you my heart has been enslaved?
Darling, you are my everything,
You are what keeps me slightly sane.
Pulling my heart to you with string,
As I'm standing here in the rain!
You have no idea what I'm thinking,
Yelling about your willingness to die.
All the while my heart is quickly sinking,
With me just wanting to break down and cry!
I guess this might be my last goodbye so... Goodbye.
Sincerely Stiles;
A love struck, broken boy
with no hope and no
chance with the man he
loves.
P.S. I know you probably won't even read any of this, you'll probably just rip it to shreds with your claws and bake it in your little 'wolf oven as soon as you catch my scent on it, but I just had to say it one last time... I love you more than anything in this universe. (Even curly fries.)
As I finish writing my letter to Derek I fold it up and place it in the envelope with the tears racing from my eyes, down my cheeks and onto the paper.
Tonight's not the night. I still have a few things I need to do before I take that leap. I just, I need to see Scotty once more, even if he doesn't acknowledge me or want to hang. I know he doesn't do it on purpose, he's just to wrapped in Isaac. Who knows, maybe that'll just make my decision even easier. I also need to drop off my letter, and spend the morning with dad. It's going to hurt him the most, and I know he'll miss me, but he's got Melissa now, she'll take care of him. I just need to do these three things before I pull the trigger. Hopefully none of them catch onto what I need to do tomorrow, but it's not like anyone knows of the vodka hiding under my bed, or that my sleeping pills prescribed to help me with nightmares are going to help me in another way.
No one knows of the gun I borrowed from my father, hiding locked up in a box in my closet.
No one knows tomorrow will be my last day.
YOU ARE READING
Giving up? (BoyxBoy)
FanfictionStiles is done. He's done with Scott's crap. He's done with Isaac stealing Scott. He's done with being useless. He's done with being a nuisance to his father. He's done being an annoying burden to the pack (but mostly to Derek). He's done with livin...
