It is just the sun in your eyes

title taken from "Young God" by Halsey
cover is a random pic of harry so yeah
also this is v short like a ficlet
it changes to first person at the end? don't really know how that happened.

The worn-out calendar on the dirty white wall showed it was August. One full month since Harry left. Walking through the empty flat they once shared together, Louis couldn't really help but to see glimpses of what once was their lives. An old blue baby beanie Harry loved to wear because it reminded him of Louis' eyes, a set of mugs waiting on the sink filled with Yorkshire tea he had made that day.

Zayn had come over once he knew but Louis wouldn't let him in. Didn't let him in. After a while Zayn's voice calling his name vanished. His unhelpful punches at the door did too.
That night, Louis decided to take a bath and maybe let water wash away his sorrows. It didn't help at all and Louis' old habit made an appearance, he couldn't forget the pain but at least blood still rushed smoothly down his wrists.

-

If someone asked him to describe Harry, he wouldn't know what to say. Harry had always been so much more than everything he could ever be. The main thing is that Harry shined by himself, Louis jokingly called him a star and neither of them knew how right he was.

The left side of Louis bed was now empty and undone, the white duvet perfumed with Harry's scent was laying on the floor, his clothes scattered on top of it and his belongings were all in the trash can next to the night table. Louis couldn't stand them.
When did love turn to hatred?
He'd always thought that if they ever drifted apart it was going to be because Louis couldn't keep up with such a bright light. Never had it occurred him that the bright light could go off by itself.

-

Louis barely remembered anything that happened in the last month, after dozens of people trying to comfort him including his own mother and Harry's, he was pretty much done. He knew he was acting like a twat but he was already broken and pretty hopeful words won't fix it. Nor bring H back, so what was the point?

-

It was raining and the hill kept getting harder to climb but Louis wouldn't give up, he made a promise he intended to keep. His boots were soaked and painted with mud and his shirt was too wet and sticking uncomfortably to his chest. He slipped twice before reaching the top and entering the tiny building.

"It's been a year, H" he walked towards the thin wall of glass that separated them "You know I always believed our love could transcend anything but I guess it didn't"
Louis could hear the thunder outside, the lightning blinding and making him nervous but his eyes shifted again towards the glass.

"I still love you. A year without you and I still do. Our moms have called me nearly every night and the boys keep dropping at the house every now and then. All your stuff is now packed in boxes and I am sorry, I wanted to keep it as the day you left but everyone kept saying it was unhealthy. I have tried to fight it, to keep on battling without you but nothing is really the same when your soulmate dies. I-I tried, I went on several dates but everything fucks up once they know about you, they bring uncomfortable questions up and I lose it. I cry every time they say your name, H"

He can feel his cheeks burning red and a knot down his throat, his hands in fists and the glass broken into million pieces all around him. His breath is irregular and he tenses up, a chilly breeze haunts him. He needs to get out of here.

Louis rushes and starts running. The thunder sounds too close and he looks up quickly and-
The lightning hits Louis.
It all goes dark after that.

-

Consciousness kicks in and Louis takes a deep breath and screams, all is dark and cold and he's gone again.

-

A familiar soothing light wakes him up. He battles against dizziness and finally opens his eyes and he gasps. A hand takes his in and Louis cries until there's nothing left.

"Lou what is happening? Babe? Louis please talk to me! You are scaring me, please Louis-"
Harry takes his hand and hugs him, fear over taking his voice and temple, he kisses Louis and tries to comfort him but Louis keeps crying and Harry feels useless. He wants to tear the world apart, he wants to-

But Louis opens his eyes and smiles softly, swiping his arm over the tears left on his face and finally speaks "It- it is just the sun in your eyes. It blinded me for a bit."

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