Saving Planet Niefon

The Planet Council Meeting

     "You favor the Pmurts!"

 Olive-green, potato-like Snoneri Djan Jdoio smashed his hamlike fist on the table in front of him. "You are part Pmurt and part Niff and you don't give a dnjafn's butt about us."

"Please!" Pari pulled down her knit hat, made of the finest mifik grown in all of Niefon. "You know that as someone who is part Niff, I am dedicated to peace and social justice. I love the Snoneri. Without the Snoneri, there would be no fjee music."

"Fjee music my tentacles!" shouted Djan! "When was the last time you listened to Fjee music, huh, girlie?"

"Actually, she listens to Fjee music all the time," said Mail Niff. Like most of the Niffs, he was red-headed and elfin and had the feet of a dnafn. "I like to play it on my ionbin." Niff took out his ionbin, made from the reeds of the mifik plant, and began to play a mournful tune, which sounded nothing like the hard, aggressive fjee sound so popular with the youth of the planet.

"Oh, for Yij's sake," Navinka Pmurt said. Like most Pmurts, she had what they would call on Earth "an attitude." She was also beautiful, with long, golden fur on her head.

"Do you have a problem, Navinka?" Pari asked. As a hybrid, Pari had the beauty of a Pmurt but the kind-heart of a troll-like Niff. Like a Niff, her fur was red.

"Yes. You're supposed to control this meeting. You are in charge of this entire planet, yet you let this meeting get out of control every fortnight. You let the Niffs act like idiots and the Snoneri act like common intergalactic slime and in about five wews they will be trying to kill each other. It is like, so boring."

"Shut the mamfgm up," said Djan. "You stupid velsj."

"I will not tolerate profanity!" Pari screamed."Or sexist language."

"You're a stupid velsj, too. You call yourself a planetary leader?"

"Hey!" Niff jumped off of the woven mat he had been sitting on. "You can't speak to a female like that."

"I dare you to say it again, you dumb mamfgm!" Navinka shouted to Djan.

"You stupid velsi!"

Fortunately, this brought the security guards up from the back of the room. When Djan took out his light saber and Navika took out her ray gun and Niff took out his sleeping mister, the security guard was able to keep them apart before anyone got seriously hurt.

"Meeting adjourned!" Pari shouted as the robots led the humanoids and elfoids and green aliens off to the special holding cells made for their kinds.

"Huh!" Navinka shouted. "It took less than five wews for this meeting to turn ugly. It's getting worse."

Pari hated to admit it, but Navinka was right. There would be no piece on Niefon if she continued like this, no peace at all.