Every single day you put on this face. This face pretending to be something you are not in fear you may fall in deeper to what you try so desperately to hide.
Every waking minute is a constant reminder of what is. and what isn't. some say its all about how you Perceive things. which in fact is a charade itself.
The gut clenching pain not allowing you to move on from the situation. The constant scenarios blurring your vision as you recall a life in which you once had.
You ask yourself every waking minute if it will ever go away? if you will ever feel normal again. The answer is no.
You have been formed a certain way. you reminisce everything you have ever seen and you act upon that.
You constantly write or give yourself pep talks to try and ignore the tears you know will form later in the evening. you try and act as if its all ok. it will never be ok. it will get better.. but you will never. ever. be the same again.
You will constantly look over your shoulder fearing that there is someone with a knife to your back ready to stab. you will constantly have that anxious feeling that maybe everything isnt how it seems.. you will constantly ask yourself if trust is even real your insecurities will tear you limb from limb until you find someone who will hug all the broken pieces back together.
if that is even possible.
