I Just Want To Fit In

Untitled Part 1

No! They've found out! Why? Why did I have to say anything? Huh. That's what I get for trying to be open with people. Wait. You don't know do you? Anything? Okay, I'll fill you in.

My name is Jack Liam May. I'm 16. And... Well... This is what happened. You see, it starts with me with my friends.

Connor, he's my friend, knows everything about me. He knows where I live, my family, grade, age, birth. Actually, I don't think there's anything he doesn't know. Well. I know one thing. Anyway. I was at his house. His parents are basically my second parents. My parents have known his for 18 years, so we're really close. We were with other friends. Joe Tiller, he's the energetic one. Tyler Gemren, he's the one who makes plans for all of us. Connor Butler, the one who hosts everything. Then there's me. Jack May. The one who doesn't talk much but when I do, wow.

So we were all playing truth or dare.

"Hey Jack! Truth or Dare?" Connor surprisingly yells out. My first instinct was to choose dare. It's what I always do. But this time I chose something out of my comfort zone.

"Truth!" I scream back at him. Everyone just looks at me confused. Tyler, in a reassuring voice says to us "Nah guys. Calm down. He's just freakin' us out. Connor, give him a risky dare."

" No. This time I want a truth," I say shaking my voice a little. I'm usually not the one to correct someone so this was going beyond my boundaries.

"Okay. Let's see. Hm. I've got it! Tell me something that nobody knows," he replies with a giant grin on his face. I immediately turn pale trying to think of an excuse. Like I said, Connor knows everything about me but one thing. Oh. Why did I choose dare?

"Y-You already know everything about me. What could you possibly need to know? I mean you can't honestly th-"

"Jack. You chose. You tell. come on." I sigh trying to think of something he doesn't know. We sit in an awkward silence for minute which felt like an eternity until Connors mom comes down.

"Connor. your friends have to go," She told us politely. No one fought with her. We've learned our lesson from that.

"Bye Mrs. Butler. Thanks for having us." I got no reply. I quickly rushed out the door trying to avoid Connor. I won't be put on the spot for my stupid little secret.

As I got home, my cat Maddy, greeted my. Oh I love that cat.

"Who's there!" my mom yells back to me. She just went blind and is having a hard time adjusting, so I say in a soft calming voice, "It's just me, mom." She walks back to the couch. Man. I really need to start making things more accessible to her.

"Hey mom, where's Abby?" Abby's my sister. She's currently 9 I think.

"Still at school honey. She'll be home soon." Right as I hear that I rush to my safe house, also known as my room. I see that I have 5 emails from Connor and 18 texts. I wonder what it could possibly be about.

In big bold letters the messages read out Come on. Tell me. Great. It can't be avoided now. I set down my phone and play a song. Music saves me in times of need. Too bad I keep getting message notifications. I pause the song getting frustrated. Geez. Can't a boy get his own privacy? I put my phone on silence and walk downstairs. My camera is right where I had placed it. Good. I grabbed it and headed outside.

Click. That one's definitely going into a frame. The good thing about photos is that you can't be interrupted by the awful sounds of the world, but capture the beauty of it. Right as I'm about to get a arty picture of a leaf on the street, Abby's bus comes around the corner. I sadly move out of the way watching the leaf as it gets caught in the bus.

"See you later Grace!" I hear Abby say as she's coming out of the bus. She turns her head and sees me. Her face grows emotionless.

"Hey!" I yell at her. She answers back with a yell herself and we give each other a big hug.

"How was your day? Make any new friends? Get in trouble?" Same questions I give her everyday.

"No. But-" She giggles a little at the word. "Sorry. This really mean boy in class keeps licking me. It's really gross. Jackie. Can you stop him?" She looks me straight into the eyes.

"I'll do everything I can."

"Hey. I heard you were talking to another girl today. Are you dating her?" She asks curiously. It's hard when nobody knows. Hm. I tell her no. Not every girl I talk to is my girlfriend.

We walk back home. As we walk in my mom says that somebody called for me. Connor. I call him back and surely enough he wants me to tell him something.

"Okay fine. I will text you. It's too embarrassing to say outloud." i type the words "I like boys" into my phone. Right before I hit send, Abby walks in.

"Can I ask you something? Thanks! If we were to get another cat- not saying we are or anything- would you want a kitten or an older one?"

"I'll tell you later but only if you leave now and don't bother me for 20 minutes." She walks out counting out loud. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... I turn back on my phone. The text, it looks strange. It may be because of what it says or maybe it's my phone. I hit the send button. No response. 10 minutes go by and still no reply. What have I done? Well. time to move. Then, I check and my phone reads "Really. Um... You didn't have to tell me that... Have you told anyone else. I assume not but just curious. It doesn't matter. You're my best friend and nothing could EVER end that.:)" What have I done. I won't ever hear the end of this. "Oh. One last question. Do you like anyone, I mean like... Nvm"

The next day at school was super awkward. I said hi and everything but other than that, I kind of avoided him. I'm afraid that he's going to say something and make me uncomfortable. That's just what he does.

I turn the corner and he's there. "Oh hey Jack!" He comes closer to me and whispers close to my face. "Did you tell Joe or Tyler? I mean. We could talk about it to them."

"Connor. I told you because I trust you. I trust that you won't tell anyone and that it's our. Little. Secret. Please."

"Okay, but eventually you will have to tell them." Right at that moment I turned and walked away. I'm pretty sure that my face is more red than a tomato. As I walked down the hallway, I got a few strange looks from some people. I think I heard someone yell Fag at me but it's probably just me freaking myself out.

The rest of the day was a blur. Same thing happened over and over. Class, learn, passing period, class, learn, passing period. I never wanted my bed so much in my own life before. when the final bell rang, I was gone. I walked the short distance home and took a really short nap but was interrupted by Abby.

"Jack. I thought you died. You didn't pick me up at the bus stop." Ugh. Another thing to make my day worse.

"Abby. I'm sorry. today has been... Weird. Can you please let me rest?"

"Okay. See ya later!" Then she runs back down to my mom.

Could I just stay here for a while and sleep? Not in this household.