Find Your Way (On Hold 'cause I'm lazy)

Chapter 1

A/N: Still testing this out. Hope you like it. I spent a while on it :) Feedback is appreciated!

Chapter 1:

            That day has since haunted me. It has haunted me more than any other I have experienced. It was not that I was particularly close to Kent Richards, I am not really sure what it is, that caused me to feel so awful. Maybe it was the fact that he had his whole life ahead of him. He was new, pure. He wasn't broken like the rest of us, who have been doing this for so long. His new responsibility hadn't hit him yet, hadn't changed him. Not like it has for me.

            I was always an angry individual. Even as a young child. I beat up kids in elementary school, just for ticking me off. I have always had such an awful temper. I actually think that's why my mom sent me to military school. I guess she just wanted me to let out my anger, maybe diminish it completely. I guess it didn't really turn out the way she, or I wanted it. No matter what I still have that temper, I can just control it a bit better. I guess I will always be the same in that aspect.

            The day Richards died, when we returned to camp, I started to destroy everything. I knocked over the medical room nightstands and beds. The nurse had to give me anesthesia, so they could hold me down long enough to get the two bullets that had lodged themselves in my right shoulder. The ones I hadn't noticed until Tom said something. I guess it was just a bad day for me. My other buddy, Will told me I should probably write my mom to tell her I was alright, and her little boy hadn’t died on her.

            Apparently afterwards, I was in a daze. No one could hold my attention for very long, if they could even get it to begin with. God, why am I acting like this. Maybe, all of this murder is actually getting to me. I have been doing this since I was 18. That's almost 6 years, nonstop. I only went home twice for 5 day max. I shook my head. No this won't happen. I wouldn't let this get to me.

            It was after another bombing, when I finally decided. It was on my 24th birthday. I was going home. "I guess I just need a break." I told Will and Tom.

            "We respect that, man. Maybe now you can see how your mom is doing, I know she misses you." Tom told me, as he lounged on a metal chair.

            "Ugh, I guess it's just been too long. I want a real bed, real food, and a nice shower." I grumbled, stretching my arms above my head.

            "Don't we all." Will chuckled. I decided to write my mom. I told her I had been given clearance to return July 21st. I really hoped she would be waiting there for me. Ok, yes I am a bit of a momma's boy.

            Before I knew it, the day had come. I was anxious to go, yet I was reluctant to leave. I would be lying to myself if I said I wouldn’t miss this place. But, I now it is a good thing to leave. Who knows maybe it'll be a good thing. I packed up all of my things and met Will and Tom near the plane.

            Tom was the first to speak. "Goodbye, man. I'll miss your grumpy mornings, your taking too long to pee, your loud snoring, your-"

            "Yeah, yeah. I get it!" I punched him in the arm.

            "Seriously though, dude. Take care of yourself." Will said.

            "You too. Bye." I shook hands with both of them and climbed aboard the plane. It had several other soldiers on it. So I took a seat up front. I guess I'm not the most sociable person. The flight to Arizona was long. I fell asleep about half way through, and had to be woken up. I exited the plane, carrying my many, oversized bags out with me. I entered the terminal of the airport and was met with wonderful, cool A/C.I swear I almost danced. Almost.

            I looked around, hoping to see her. I allowed a huge smile to form on my lips when I saw my mom waiting on the other side of security. I made my way over and dropped my bags on the floor by my feet. I opened my arms and engulfed her in a bear hug.

            "Oh, Knoxy it's so good to see you!" She said hugging me back just as tightly. "But, I am going to have to cut this short. You are sweaty and you stink, like a dead raccoon." I laughed and let her go.

            "I missed you mom." I said as we walked to her small Toyota.

            "Aw, my 24 year old bro missed his mommy!" My 16 year old sister, Anna said cheekily as she leaned against the car.

            "Oh Anna!" I said over exaggeratedly."I missed you my darling sister." I crushed her head to my chest and shook her like a rag doll.

            "Dude. Can't. Frickin'. Breathe." I laughed and let her go. She rubbed her neck and glared at me. I smiled innocently and put my bags in the trunk. I climbed into the front seat and we drove off.

            I was practically jumping, when we reached the house. It was a small three bedroom, cream house with blue trim. I got my stuff and made my way through the front after my mom and sister.

            I was suddenly tackled to the ground and felt this huge weight on my chest. I looked up to see my mom's huge mastiff, Ralph laying on my chest. "Ralph, off!" I groaned pushing him off me. I heard my mom and sister laughing hysterically in the living room.

            I just shook my head and dropped my things off in the guest bedroom. I needed to find an apartment. After all, I'm on leave now. I pushed that task for later and hastily grabbed clean clothes and darted into the shower. It felt awesome, to take a nice shower.

            I dried myself off and made my way into the hall. Something smelt good. I went to the dining room and saw my mom placing spaghetti on the table. My stomach growled and I sat down.

            "Hey, bro! Wipe the drool off your face." My sister joked.

            "Help yourself, Knox. I made a bunch tonight." My mom said sweetly.

            "Thanks" I said cheerily and piled the food on my plate. After third helpings, I sat and turned on the TV. I turned on the news and felt myself beginning to doze. I blinked a few times, before my eyes sagged with overwhelming, exhaustion. I felt someone put a blanket on me and I shifted a bit.

            "Goodnight Knox." I heard my sister whisper kindly. That was the last thing I heard before I fell into the best sleep I have had since I left 5 years ago.