Imagine

Girl at the window

Have you ever experienced something that has changed your life? Something that moved you into a new perspective on who you were, or who you wanted to be? For me it was her, the moment I saw her through that coffee shop window, I knew they were so alike. Right down to the way she combed her strawberry blond hair to the side, down to the freckles that stood dark against her pale skin. Even her leaf green eyes held that same curious light. As I sat at the window of that small town coffee shop, the steam from my latte fogging it up, my mind flashed back to the last time I saw my sister.

Arabelle was beside me, beaming with excitement. The sun warmed my face as I continued to watch the clouds make shapes above me; a dragon, a horse, a rabbit. The grass was smooth and damp, as I lay with my sister, in a field of flowers, just watching the world go by. The soft wind blew the thin blades of grass around us, making a soft rustling sound. Accompanied by the humming of birds, I almost forgot we weren't the only ones in the world; it was so beautiful, so peaceful. My sister's love and warmth was almost tangible as we lay there in the grass, side by side. I smiled at her, a special smile, reserved only for a certain few. I was content with my life, with everything I had in that moment. It was a shame it just didn't last. 

I will never forget that night, even though I was only fifteen.  We never had any indication that she would disappear. That night, and for weeks after, police would turn up at the house, and talk to us. They questioned me over, and over again, but I didn't have any answers for them, she had told, me nothing that night. The day in the field of flowers, was the last time I saw her, I remember when she left, walking off into the cool night air. When I questioned her on why she was leaving all she said was: "I need to go somewhere important, don't worry about me I'll be back."  I didn't really understand what was going on; I thought she would come back to me.
Now 5 years later, you would think I'd gotten over it. But something like this, it stays with you forever.  After she left, my whole family broke apart, nothing and no one was the same anymore. The pain I felt when she left, although not physical, it was just as debilitating. For months I couldn't sleep, wanting, needing to be awake when she came home; she never did.  I shut everyone out, my parents, my friends. I figured it would be easier to distance myself from people, not have any attachments, if they were just going to disappear like she did. The happiness and love I once had in my life began to fade away.

The girl outside the window however, changed all that.  As I sat there in the warmth of the coffee shop, that enveloped me like a hug; remembering the field of flowers, that beautiful day, I realised that my life didn't have to be like that anymore. All these years I had been so focused on what I'd lost that I never moved on, I was so busy trying to shut everyone out that I never realised what I was missing, I never realised that I could get back what I had. The girl through the window although she didn't realise it, she changed my life. She made me remember my sister, and how everything used to be.
I decided right in that moment, that I would change my life, move on from the dark and endless place I was in now, and live my life again.  I got out of the hard plastic chair I had been sitting in, and made my way through the heavy glass door of the café. Pushing through the crowd I walked up to the girl, and said hello.