Die, My Love (Dark Creature)

DML: Chapter Twelve: Lee Handles The Truth

Was it bad that I got off on her fear? Her terror made the feeding more pleasurable for me.

“Ah, love. You have seen me feed before. You know what we are, and what our instincts demand of us. What you felt was natural.” Ben enfolds me in a hug. “My first night I slaughtered an entire household. I was monstrous. I was evil incarnate. You did not even kill your first prey. You are special, kind and amazingly restrained.”

I hug him tighter. “I wanted to kill her,” I confess in a tiny voice. “I wanted to feel her neck snap, hear the bones crack, and swallow her blood and soul until I was bursting with them.” A sob tears from my throat. “I still do. And I cry not because this sickens me, but because I want it so badly I taste it, hear it. Oh Ben, I never realized…” I’m unable to go on.

“I … I am not sure what you need from me.” He sounds miserable, and I hang my head in shame, because I caused this unhappiness. “I knew this would be hard for one as kind hearted as you, but I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t think I can. It will always be like this, maybe worse. It is what we are, how we live. You knew that I killed and now you now why. The urge not only to feed, but to take life rides you hard, and never lets up.” Hmm. Well, I’ve proved I’m able to feed without killing. If Ben always make sure I don’t go too far maybe I don’t have to feel so guilty. And if I control myself maybe Ben can too. “And what of the rest of our kind?” Ben asks. “Do you think they will find it easy to change millennia of habit?”

I’m taken aback by the tone of his voice. Releasing my hold on his waist, I step away, confusion painted across my expression. “I’m not asking for anybody else to change. I would hope you wouldn’t kill anymore, but I can’t force you. Or anybody else for that matter. Why would they listen to me anyway?”

“You’re the Child. They would feel compelled to follow, and it would go against every hunting instinct they had to not kill.” I scowl, becoming more confused. “You still don’t understand,” Ben says and runs a hand over his face. “You are not important to the others, you are everything. They will do what you say in all things, even if it goes against their nature.” Erm, I still don’t get it! Why wouldn’t he spit it out? “It’s more complicated than that,” he snaps and walks off down the bank away from the dome. “For the past month as you turned I have been resisting Daniel, protecting you from him. He’s waiting for the opportunity to declare me unfit to be your guide in this life.”

I struggle to catch up. “Okay, well, so far you haven’t done anything wrong.”

He laughs without mirth, his agitation becoming increasing obvious. “The car accident? The Lycans catching us on their land? No doubt they will tell their Alpha.”

I grin smugly. “No. Harmony said she wouldn’t tell if we didn’t.”

“Harmony is whom?”

“That was her name, the she-wolf. She was nice.”

Ben face twists into a dumbfounded look before he shakes his head, muttering to himself. “This will mean our meeting with the others will happen much sooner than I anticipated. Daniel has already openly expressed dissatisfaction with this union, and he does have followers, as inconceivable as it seems.”

“I think you’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Why don’t we–”

“Will you be quiet for a moment so I can think!”

I’m stunned. Ben has never spoken to me like this before. I– I don’t know what to do. I wrap my arms around myself, feeling absurdly emotional, and blink back tears. Crying blood in the middle of Docklands would not be a good idea, I don’t think. I turn to look out over the Thames and keep blinking until I think I have a better hold on everything, and lean on the railing, trying to figure out if I was in the wrong here or him. No, I had done nothing. He was being ill mannered and an asshole because he felt guilty about something. Ben had a tendency to turn nasty once he felt guilty, I could see that now. Oh love, why won’t you talk to me? Explain things. I rub my head, trying to access little bits of information knocking around in my head, but it feels like I’m dunking myself into a vast sea of words, drowning in them. I pull back.