Dear William

Chapter Ten: The Realisation

Ignorance is bliss.

The saying rings so true for William's first year of life.

He was doing fine. Keeping up with all his milestones.

He smiled at just a few weeks old. I have his first smile etched in my heart.

I was sitting in the waiting room at the local surgery with William in my arms. We were waiting to see Doctor Knowles for William's routine health check.

I can even remember the outfit I had chosen for my baby to wear on that particular day. He was kitted out in a royal blue and yellow striped all-in-one velour suit with a matching blue velvet hat. He looked so cute.

He was gazing up at me with his adorable blue eyes. I was speaking to him softly, and as I spoke his mouth slowly curled up at the corners and broke into a huge toothless grin.

William passed his two month check with flying colours.

"He's doing absolutely fine," Doctor Knowles assured me, "He's thriving."

The only slight issue was that William had developed an umbilical hernia. I had panicked by the sudden bulge of his tummy button, but the doctor assured me it was quite common and would likely correct itself when he began to use his stomach muscles to sit up.

To my relief this was exactly what happened, and by the time William reached eight months old he had a perfect tummy button.

William sat up at seven months.

I would surround him by cushions on the floor and show him various toys. He would grasp a rattle and pass a toy from one hand to the other.

He had a musical ball with a star button in the centre that activated the tunes of different nursery rhymes. This had been a Christmas present we had chosen for him. We had gone a bit over board with William's first Christmas and Santa had delivered an array of exciting parcels which we gladly opened with our baby boy.

William was obviously too young to fully appreciate the magic of Christmas, but he sat on my knee as I tore off the wrapping paper and showed him the toys from within. He definitely appeared focused, and I marvelled at the thought of future Christmases when he would rush downstairs full of excitement to see if Santa had been and tear open his presents in eager anticipation.

Another favourite present that first Christmas was a nursery rhyme toy that baby could press different buttons to activate different sound effects.

He had a wobbly sailor toy that he would push and the sailor would roll back upright.

He had a white soft teddy that slept in his cot with him.

William had just started to like The Tweenies, bright colourful characters that appeared on television every morning at 10 am and every afternoon at 4pm.

He would sit in his little chair and seemed to be drawn in by the bright colours. I bought two Tweenies Song Time videos which he absolutely loved.
We would watch those videos again and again until I had the songs constantly on repeat in my head. I knew them word for word.

Now, sixteen years later The Tweenies will occasionally make an appearance on the Cbeebies channel. The familiar songs bring it all back to me. I can still remember them word for word, but now they bring a tear to my eye.

I am walking along the path by the brook. 

It is a sunny day in early Spring and the birds are singing.