Cali Cali Cali [Ziall]

I.

He's really just browsing when he comes across the video.

It's absent-minded, really, when he runs his mouse over the search bar and begins to type; how to tell your family you're sick.

The video that comes up isn't what he wanted - it doesn't necessarily fit his situation as well as it could have in the past. And, noting the title, he shouldn't have offered the video a second glance. But there's something strange about it that he can't place.

Telling your family about your scars.

Zayn doesn't understand. He peers at the thumbnail, oddly expecting a moody-looking teenage girl. But that's not what he gets. Instead, it's a beautiful boy. Gentle looking, kind-faced. His hair is blonde and brown. His skin is a light shade of smooth ivory, and it looks soft to touch. His pink, girly lips are formed into a small frown.

Zayn clicks on the video.

It takes a few seconds of buffering, but then there's a light crackling sound in the backround and the video springs to life - the blonde sitting in front of his camera with a light smile on his face. It fits him better than the frown.

"Hi everyone. Niall 'ere. As if you were expecting anyone else..."

His voice is light, airy, and beautiful - just as Zayn had expected it to be, judging by the boy's looks. He can hear an Irish accent.

"So, m'sorry that I haven't uploaded a video, or been on Tumblr and Instagram. And I guess that it's...to be expected, considering my horrid schedule with videos in the past. I have been trying, but there's been a bit 'o tension lately that kind of limit me to it."

The boy, apparently named Niall, reaches up a hand to brush away his fringe from his face, and that's when Zayn pauses the video almost immediately.

Had he seen...?

He leans in farther, face near the screen of his laptop. His eyebrows furrow as he stares at the blonde's arm. But he can't find what he's searching for, as the screen has blurred due to the time Zayn has paused it at.

It doesn't occur to him that he really has been a bit dizzy recently, so maybe it was all in his mind. He unpauses the video.

"Um...I've been a bit unstable lately. And I wish that I could deliver you guys some better news upon my return, but...I couldn't. It's been tough recently. And before I start rambling, I'll just tell you: I've been in A&E."

Zayn swallows, but for some reason, the lump in his throat won't go away. He doesn't know this boy. He's never seen this boy - he doesn't know him, and isn't familiar with his videos. He wonders why such a beautiful, innocent, gentle looking boy such as him would be in Attention & Emergency. He hoped it wasn't for what he thought.

"Um...this may seem strange to some of you guys, considering the fact that I've never told my parents about my self-harm. And, this may disappoint you, but...a couple weeks ago, I was hurting, and I hurt myself. I didn't mean to, but I did. Sorry."

He swore that he saw the blonde begin to tear up. He can't place why, but he feels his heart start to surge. He was right. The boy hurt himself. But...why?

"I wasn't thinking. I was trying to tell myself I didn't need it. And maybe I didn't, maybe I did. I don't know. What I do know, is that there was blood. A lot. I got scared, and I just wanted my mum more than anyone. I called for her, from the bathroom. She came in, and...well, needless to say, it was a bad way to find out that her youngest was harming himself. I thought that...I thought she'd never have to find out. I never wanted her to."

Zayn bit his lip. He had to wonder how long this boy had been doing this to himself. He had to wonder why he even cared - it's not like this kid meant anything. They had never met, and Zayn didn't care about people other than his family.

"She called the paramedics, and I was rushed into the hospital. I got stitched up - I didn't think they were that bad, but I was wrong. I was free to leave soon enough, in terms of physical health. But...my mum kept me in the hospital another week so I could get mental health. I didn't think I needed it. It wasn't help, though...they just told me to straighten out. Like I didn't know I had to."

Sunlight shined in from the window behind the lad. His eyes, soft glacier blue, were downcast - like he was ashamed of something. And, for some reason, Zayn felt the urge to hold him - even though he was probably thousands of miles away.

"Anyways, enough of that. What I wanted to say here, is that if you hurt yourself, like I know a lot of my viewers do, tell your parents. It sounds stupid, I know. You may feel like they're suffocating you at first, but...they really do care about you. They just want to help, believe me. If your parents aren't in your life, tell a friend. Tell a respective adult. Tell someone. You don't want anyone to find out the hard way. It's more painful than you think it might be. My mum was crying. And, if you're like me, that's one of the most heart breaking things you will ever witness."

Niall's eyes began to water, and Zayn could see it. He stopped speaking, and covered his mouth with his hand. He moved his fingers between his lips, biting his skin. Tears started to roll down his face, over the planes of his cheeks. Zayn bit his lip as he watched the little boy - probably not little, assumedly only seventeen, or twenty at the most - sniffle and wipe away his tears. He looked so fragile. Like he could crumble at any second.

"I'm sorry...I just...it's been so hard. And I was so scared that...my mum would think I was insane. And maybe I am. But...I'm scared, okay."

The video ended.

Zayn wondered if the boy would be okay.