Come Along Pond

The Console Does a Thing

So there I was, sitting around the console, knowing that what happened on that day in New York happened, and there's nothing I can do to change it. She only asked me on thing, to go back and tell her younger self of what she would do if she waited. I guess waiting 12 years was hell, and going back wouldn't of changed anything. I desperately wanted to see Amelia again, so I went right away. And now I kind of regret it. I can never see her again. Never.

That's the last time I saw Amelia. Just a little girl, waiting in a garden, eyes full of hope... Before that, well, before for me and after for her, she was confused and mad. And the last time I saw Amelia properly, the last time she saw me, she was so sad. So confused. The hope was gone, and it was filled with pain. If I hadn't let her go back in time to be with Rory, then she would've been pain stricken for the rest of her days. She would've locked herself in the TARDIS, in her room. Well, not in her room, the picture of Rory in there would tear her apart. She would've also stayed away from the library and pool. Thats where I said I was the day I met her, and if I hadn't met her, Rory wouldn't of been taken away by a weeping angel. She wouldn't of been dealt with all that pain.

That's why I'm not so sure what's she doing without me. I don't know if she's thanking me for letting her go back, or if she's mad at me for getting her into this mess. Rory died multiple times, and she almost died, as well. I guess all good things come with a cos---

"Doctor?"

I brought my head up. Did I just hear that? No, I couldn't have. No, no one could've said that. No. I'm just going insane. Completely insane. I didn't hear anything. Just an active imagination. A very active imagina---

"Doctor? Doctor, are you there?"

I stood up. Okay, once is just absurd, it would make sense if it was said once and it was just my imagination. Twice? That would mean that---

"Doctor! Listen up! This is important!"

No. No. Not that voice. That voice filled with hope, and sass, and---

"Doctor! Get your arse over here!"

That voice is way too familiar. But again, it just can't be. It can't---

"DOCTOR! Will you get over here?!?"

But that voice! It can't be her voice!

"Yes Doctor, its me! NOW GET OVER HERE I NEED TO TALK!"

It is. It is her. The girl who's witty, feisty, and a little but stubborn. The girl with the Scottish anger and the ginger hair I always wanted. The girl who waited.

"DOCTOR! I'm not waiting any longer!"

It's like she can read my thoughts.

I run to where the voice was coming from; the Ponds bedroom.

I opened the door and saw a projection of Amelia. I wonder why it's not being projected in the console room.

"Okay. Doctor, this is a prerecorded message; I hope you never have to hear it. If you do hear it, that means you've been by yourself for too long. You're probably wondering why you're getting a prerecorded message and why you're getting it in my room. The truth is, I know what will happen when I'm gone, when the Ponds are gone. You will be alone, and sad, and you'll blame yourself. So I prerecorded this. The reason it's in the bedroom is because you've probably never set foot in this room until today. And if you have come in here before, then you're still the brave Doctor I remember.

"But then again, this is only what I'll imagine what's happened. And I feel bad for you, Doctor. You're probably imagining what I'm doing. I just want you to know that I am happy, and if I'm with Rory, we're both living a good life. We will never forget you Doctor, but we have to adjust. No one can run forever."

Her voice. I missed it so much. If only I'd heard it before. Maybe Amy could get me out of this. Hopefully.

Her face. Its so soft, and still pale, but the sadness in it. No one likes hearing that their friend is sad, but Amelia's right, she's only just imagining what will happen. And the worst part about all that is, people are capable of the darkest thoughts ever known. Thats what hurts me the worst. Her thoughts are right, mostly. I did step foot in here before, but I never moved on from their death.

"Don't be sad, Doctor. Please. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve to be sad. No one does, but especially not you. You've lost so much, yes, but you've saved so many. Isn't that more important? You saved me, Doctor. You made me feel important, worth it. Why can't I make you feel the same?"

She took in a deep breath, I could see that she was holding back tears. I stepped closer to her and looked down, it was too much. I wish I could hold her and tell her it's alright, that I'll be alright, but I can't. It's a prerecorded message and she's gone. I'll never be able to hug her again, and I wish I could. No matter what she says, I will always feel bad, always blame myself for what happened that day. If I actually thought for a second, maybe I wouldn't lose that many people. But that's me, the man who never uses his head.

"I had an imaginary friend once. I only saw him twice when I was little. All in less than 10 hours. He made me feel so important, like I could do anything. I waited for that man, but he was just 'imaginary'."
She used her hands to put quotations around the word imaginary.
"No one believed me, but I didn't care. People thought I was crazy, but all I did was wait. And that was just based on something imaginary. Imagination can rule lives. But if you for one second think that I'm crying all day long without you, that I'm mad at you for letting whatever happened happen, or that I'll never want to think of you again, forget it. Just forget it. Thats not true, Doctor. My imaginary friend once told me I would save a whale in outer space and give inspiration to the greatest painter that ever lived. But if he told me I would make him regret everyday...."

That's when the first tear dropped.

"Oh Amelia", I said.

She wiped the tear and took in a deep breath, ready to continue.

"Doctor. I love you. And I wouldn't trade travelling with you for anything. I'll lose you, one day I will, but everyone loses someone. Thats the story of everything. The best part is, taking all that pain, and turning it into something beautiful. Doctor, meet someone else, travel with them, there's nothing stopping you but yourself. And one more thing, remember why you travel, remember your name. Goodbye Raggedy Man."

And it ended. What did she mean?
I wanted to shout to her and ask her, why do I travel? What about my name?

But I can't. I never will be able to. Shes gone. Amelia Pond is gone.

I'm left staring at a blank wall, tears spilling.

"Goodbye Amelia."