Vision Dream

Eyes

Last night in prayer

I saw it

A set of eyes

Ancient, knowing

Eastern eyes

His eyes.

They reacted to my thoughts

Afraid

Angry

Loving.

They watched in gentle knowing

Taking it in

Possibly remembering me.

Maybe this is what they mean when they say

The law will be written on your heart.

Maybe this is the presence

Of the holy spirit within

Maybe this is the peace that comes

To the patient warrior

On the road of battle

Maybe this is the love that passes all understanding,

The truth of

The path through the world but not of it.

Maybe these are the eyes of God.

All I know is that today what I want

Is to see those eyes light up in welcoming joy

To open themselves to me, and me to them.

All I want is to please God.

Giving things up for lent

Stepping outside of my addictions

Brings me swiftly to the point of desperation

Mild despair, and the compulsion to escape.

It amazes me how quickly

My mind can change

When I step outside the numbness

Of my comfortable escapes.

It strikes me that a whole of wanting

Has opened up in my spirit

A cavernous emptiness

Accompanied by a steely taste in my mouth

And something like rage.

I seem to have digressed

Into a 5 year old.

It also seems like

There is no real answer to this wanting

Except God.

He alone can make me whole

Without making me fat.

He gives me peace

Without keeping me up at night.

He gives me joy

Without the guilt.

Ash Wednesday