The end where I begin

C h a p t e r 41

'You okay Dan?' Glen asked and I quickly snapped out of my thoughts. I hadn't even noticed I had faded out. Damn I must gave been gone for quite some time seeing as Glen noticed. He was busy talking to Rina but still he managed to notice that I wasn't even there in my mind. Oh well, thinking about it, it might be easy to notice. I'm rarely quiet when it comes to conversations.

'Yeah I'm good. Just started thinking for a bit and I faded, sorry.'

'No problem Danny, the fact that you fade out to do some thinking isn't that rare so it's acceptable.' Rina said smiling making Glen laugh as he agreed to her saying.

'Kinda true, but I do have my moments.'

'Ye sure do Dan.' Glen said and he and Rina stared talking again and I was back to my thoughts. I did find it weird that I started thinking about really wanting my own kids now while seeing Mark with his kids. I had seen him with them so many times before, so many times during the past year, and with my sister and brother too. I see them and their families together all the time when I'm home in Dublin. And now suddenly this one time my mind changes.

'I'm just gonna go to my room for a bit and lay down. I'm not feeling too good at the moment and I don't wanna risk anything for the show tomorrow.' I said interrupting the talk between Glen and Rina.

'That's fine Danny, just take care and get some rest. You do look a bit tired.' Rina said giving me a weak smile.

'Go get some rest mate, we'll check in later.' Glen said. I nodded and started walking away. As I walked past Mark I waved at him and said hi to his kids too before getting to the elevator and pressing the button to my floor. I got to my room and collapsed on the bed drowning in my own thoughts.

Lauren's POV

I had just gotten home from school when I remembered Danny had a day off today. He told me yesterday that Mark got his family to visit today so he would probably leave them to be with each other than the band. As I sat down on my couch I realized how cold my apartment was right now so I lit the fireplace and say back down and wrapped a blanket around me and took my phone out of my pocket to text Danny.

'Text to Dan X: heyy I've just gotten home. Gonna take some time off today to just relax so maybe we could have a Skype call or FaceTime? I miss u :(' only minutes later he replied to the text.

'New text from Dan X: glad yer taking some time to relax, u don't have to study too much or yer gonna get stressed...Sorry Laurs but I can't right now.'

'Text to Dan X: oh okay, I guess we can do that later today or something?'

'New text from Dan X: not shure Laurs, but I'll text u later and let u know.'

'Text to Dan X: okay then, so we'll talk later.'

'New text from Dan X: yes.' Okay then... I put my phone down again and turned on my TV. Danny obviously didn't wanna talk in any way so I had nothing better to do. I scrolled through the channels and put on a random channel which showed some talk show. Really not that interesting, but Danny had pushed me away and was not available. The whole thing was weird though. He was usually willing to talk and made contact during the day, but today it was just like normal until now where it was just the opposite. I tried to just shake it off and focus on something else for a while. I finished watching the talk show and a new one started. I didn't really know the shows but it was okay and it took my mind off things for a while. I stood up from the couch and walked into my kitchen and made myself some food and ate it by the kitchen table before cleaning it all up and sat back down on the couch, this time not able to remove my focus from Danny's behavior earlier. It was so not like him at all. It was probably just nothing and he was busy, but the fact that he might not have the time to even text today made me think more about it. Well, maybe Glen had some idea of what was happening.

'Text to Glen: Hey Glen, don't mean to bother u with this, but is Dan okay?'

'New text from Glen: He said he wasn't really feeling well so he went to his room, everything okay?'

'Text to Glen: He didn't wanna talk at all and probably won't talk to me at all today either, I don't know why and I just wanted to see if u had any idea.'

'New text from Glen: When he's not feeling okay he usually does this, push everyone away. He's alone in his room now, has been for some time. He'll come around Laurs, u got nothing to worry about.'

'Text to Glen: Makes sense, thank u G. Didn't mean to bother u, have a good day off.'

'New text from Glen: No problem Laurs, I'm always just a text away. And I won't tell Dan u asked me, I'll let this be between us.'

'Text to Glen: Ur such a good friend, thank u!!'

'New text from Glen: No probs Laurs, take care.' At least now I know the reason to why he pulls away. Apparently he's not feeling well so he pulls away. That makes sense. When it comes to emotions Danny can be really open, but as Glen said he pulled away when he wasn't feeling great. There was this one time in the summer where he was a bit sick and he kinda pulled away. He did say he didn't wanna talk or anything, he was just there but he didn't want me to leave either. He still wanted me with him. Maybe this time he pulled away cause I wasn't there and I couldn't really do anything anyways, so just pulling away might help him. Well I wasn't going to bother him anymore today if he doesn't want me to.

Next chapter: A few weeks has passed and nothing's changed.