Never Let Me Go

Needing Space

"Awe tobs im sorry this is happening, she should have told you when it was finalized- wait did u say you signed with PSG?!" Kelley yelled out of shock.

"Maybe..."

"TOBIN!"

"What? They contacted me a month ago asking if i wanted to play during the offseason, i said id think about it but totally forgot, until this morning when they called asking for my opinion. After yesterday theres no reason for me to stay in Portland, everyone is leaving. Its whats for the best for me kell. I really think that right now." I explain

"Tobin i know your hurting and heartbroken, but dont you think running away from problems is the cowardly thing to do?" Kelley responds with sympathy in her voice.

"Kell, if going to paris means getting away from the heartbreak and not having to see or play against Alex, then count me in because i cant stand to be around her and not be with her." I respond with.

"Maybe you should tell her tobs. What if she feels the same but is to scared because of serv? I see the way you guys interact and look at each other. Youre practically already a couple. Just think about it okay? I got to go to training now, but tobs...just think about what your doing, and how the outcome will be if she doesnt know. I love you and hope you chose the right thing, you always do. Bye." And with that i hear the disconnected buzzing on her end of the line.

This is going to be a very long month.

Alexs PoV

I get up around 10, tear stained cheeks and pillows surrounding me. My thoughts followed me into my dreams, replaying yesterday again n again in my head. Tobins look of betrayl and sadness on her face. I wince at the memory. God i screwed up bigtime. I got up for the day, going to get coffee like usual, but noticing my wallet is missing. I remember the last place i had it with me. Tobins apartment. I guess in my hurried rush to go on a search for her, i left it there. Oh boy this encounter should be fun. I send a warning text her way, knowing im coming to get. Anxiety already over taking my body on how this meeting could go down. Sooo not ready to face her again.

I pull up to tobins apartment 15 mins later, cautiously going up the walkway to her door. I dont know wether to knock or use my key, so i just end up going with the key. I open the door to see her sitting on the couch eating cereal. She turns her head to look who has come in. I notice a flash of emotion run across her face and leave as quick as it came. I cant seem to know what it was though. I see my wallet on the center island in the kitchen. As i start to move towards it she gets up to wash her dishes almost grazing shoulders as we enter the kitchen together. It shouldnt be like this, no words exchanged, no smiles evident, no sparkles in eachothers eyes. Just as i go to grab it, i see a paper on the counter, with the Paris team logo in the top corner. I look up to be met with sad brown puppy dog eyes looking at me. I know what that paper is...but i dont wanna believe it.

I look up back up to her, i can feel tears coming from back behind my eyes. I look deep into hers, as if asking if what im seeing is true. She nods and begins,

"They called a month ago asking if i wanted to come back for the offseason, i said i dont know, i was liking it here so Ill think about it. Well they called back this morning...and......i leave next month. They prefer before christmas so i was planning on doing packing for the next couple weeks. Im giving the apartment to Allie and her boyfriend. Uhm...some of your stuff is in the spare room, already packed. Thought itd be easier if you didnt have to do it so i did." She paused trying to gather her thoughts. "Alex...this is whats best for me...for us. I cant keep doing this. It would just be too hard for me and Portland wouldnt be the same. I stayed her to be with you, to have fun and make adventures. Now that your leaving, i dont have a reason to be here. Im starting fresh...its whats best so...yeah" she ends with that.

I dont know what to say or do, i never wanted her to leave, never wanted her to be in pain. All of this is because of me. Im too toxic for you.

"Sounds great tobin...im really happy for you." Im forcing out words that i dont wanna say. This is all too much. All i wanna do is go up to her and kiss the hell outta of her. But im married and shes leaving and we're bestfriends and she doesnt know how i feel.

"Well...thanks for letting me get this, and for packing my stuff, im gonna go now but...hope you do well in Paris." And with that i turn around and practically sprint out of her apartment, leaving her standstill in the kitchen, and my spare key on the counter.

Im too toxic for her. Dont go back now Alex. You'll only cause her more pain. Let her go. My thoughts consuming me as i sob and let out everything ive been feeling since ive known about the trade. This is all too much.

Tobins Pov

I was surprised to get a text from Alex, but i understand when i read the contents. Alittle while later i heard my door turn and open, my eyes turning to meet the once ocean blue eyes that have now turned ice blue and red. Shes been crying. Well that makes two of us. As she makes her way to the kitchen so do i, the closeness of our bodies as we enter is almost enough for me to pour my heart out to her and beg her not to leave. I go to the sink and set the bowl down, turning around and looking up, only to see her with a confused expression on her face. I follow her line of sight. The contract. Shit. She looks back up at me, with pleading eyes, knowing what shes wondering. I only nod, proving her fear to come true. Im leaving.

I explain everything to her, trying to  not look directly at her, so that we both dont cry. I bring her stuff out and hand it over. She tells me goodluck but i can see how much the news pained her. Now you know how i feel. She sprints out at the blink of an eye. Leaving her spare key. I look down and begin to cry, clutching the key, signaling that this seemed like the end between us.

I have to tell her. But how?

Authors note: hey guys hope you like this update! I may update again today but i do have another thanksgiving to attend to so we will see! Hope you all had a happy holidays!