Somewhere to remember us (Luke)

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'What does it matter if you actually said it or not? Whatever, I'm done with this. See you around.' You spat as you heaved yourself to your feet and spun on your heel.

'Y/N? Don't forget me. Please, just remember.' Luke appealed to you.

'I hope I fucking forget.' You snapped back as you walked out of the forest and entered back into reality.

~Three weeks later~

You sat up on your bed. You had decided that today was today that you would finally leave your house again. Ever since your break up with Luke you had moped around the house, trying to figure out what you could have possibly done to drive him to end your perfect relationship. You had gone through several stages; blaming him, blaming everyone else and finally, blaming yourself.

You vaguely heard your home phone ring.

'Mum will pick it up' you thought to yourself as your mind started to become cloudy with thoughts of Luke, as it had so often done before.

You must had only been daydreaming for a couple of minutes before you heard a knock on your bedroom door. Your heart skipped a beat as you hoped it was Luke, coming to apologise. However, your mother was the one who carefully opened the door.

'Y/N...' She spoke as she let the door close behind her. 'That was Mrs Hemmings on the phone. You know, Luke's mum?'

You nodded slowly, unsure of the reasons that would cause your ex-boyfriend's mum to ring your household.

'Well. She just called-She wanted to be the one to tell us. She didn't want us to find out any other way- It's just. Just...' Your mother gasped out, 'it's Luke. He p-passed away this morning.'

Your shoulders sagged, the room had started spinning. He couldn't be. Your mum was joking, why would she joke about this? That's just cruel. You started to feel your anger rising.

'Mum, why?! Why the hell are you saying this? It's not funny. At all.'

Your mum walked to you and wrapped her arms around you. She shushed you slightly.

'Mum...why. Why Mum. No. n-no.' You breathed out. Tears pooled in your eyes as the reality hit you.

He was gone.

Luke, your Luke, had gone. Just like that.

'How?' You croaked out against your mother's shoulder.

'Darling, Mrs Hemmings said he had been ill for a long time, he had been fighting it though. Everyone thought he had been getting better. It was only these past few weeks that he had gone downhill.'

'He'd been ill for a long time? H-How long?' You questioned

'About three months sweetie.' Your mother said gently.

Three months. Three months would been that he had been sick during your relationship. You hadn't even noticed, you had no idea.

You let your body fall onto your bed. You'll never see him again. You'll never see his crystal blue eyes again as they locked onto yours, you'll never see his countless amounts of smiles again; the arrogant smirk, the sweet grin where he had fought to keep composed and lost and the beam that he had often greeted you with, the one filled with joy and love.

The doorbell went. You made no effort to move whilst your mother hurriedly exited your room. Your mind wandered back to Luke, fresh tears moistened your cheeks.

'Sweetie?' Your mum had entered the room again. 'Sweetie that was Mrs Hemmings. She brought something, it's from Luke. She said he had wanted you to have it. Here-'

She handed you a small, folded piece of paper. You could see your name marked onto it in Luke's scrawl.

'I'll leave you for a minute, I love you darling.' You mum slowly backed out of the room, closing the door.

Your hands shakily opened the paper, lines of Luke's handwriting greeted you. Your eyes started to quickly scan his words.

Y/N. I'm writing this to you on Tuesday the 17th of October. Half an hour ago I broke up with you. Now you can finally know why-

I'm sick Y/N, I'm broken. I'm only getting worse. I'll get weaker, soon I won't be able to get out of bed. My breathing will become heavier and more forced. I haven't got much time left and I know that, my days are nearly up.

That's why I had to do this, I had to break up with you. I didn't want you to have to see me like this. You could handle it, I know you could, but I didn't want you to have to. I love you so much Y/N. so fucking much. I still get butterflies whenever you look up at me, eyes wide, your mouth slightly parted.

I'm going to carry on loving you even after I'm gone. I'm sure of it. How could I not? You were perfect for me, far too perfect. One thing I'll miss is having you in my arms; your fragile body pressed against mine, I felt whole.

Just promise me that you'll carry on with your life. Pursue your writing, you're really talented. Go out. Meet people. I'm giving you my permission to fall in love again. Fall in love with someone who adores you, who can handle your tantrums when he eats the last of the spread, who will stay up to watch your chest rise and fall as you sleep, who will hug you tightly when you're scared.

Find someone who will love you like I did.

This is it Y/N, this is me setting you free. Don't get tied down by the memory of me, I'm fine now. I'm happy, watching over you. But if you ever do need me, just go that the river in the woods. I'll be there. Talk to me, pour your soul out to me; then go home. I'll be there anytime you need me.

I think that's all for now. I love you Y/N. So fucking much. I hope you can forgive me for hiding this from you- I was looking out for you.

I'll be with you always,

Luke x

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