Just Listen
I place the freshly picked white orchard, on the left side of my long wavy hair and insert the last bobby pin to secure the French twist that took hours to master. Passing the mirror, I catch a glimpse of my youthful face, painted with a dusky-gold blush, I feel like a peaceful angel slowly making its way down to the adventure that lies below the soft clouds. I'm really doing this. I flatten down my dress, strap on my platforms, and quietly count to three before descending the distant aisle that waits outside of my family's beautiful garden. A small smile plays on my lips as the sound of buzzing bees and birds chirping fill my pixie-like ears. I am totally in love with the spring atmosphere especially since I grew up in such a small town where its famous attributes are flowers and all things nature. Closing my eyes, remembering the day that I said I will forever be by his side, always. He kisses the top of my head and pulls me into a tight embrace. I love you my beautiful Lilly pad.
A variety of fresh scents emits from the bed of flowers surrounding the magically put backyard. As I make my way down the long aisle that seems to go on forever and ever, I take one good look at the sun, that has now joined this solemn ceremony and wonder if it'll still be there when this is all over. I inhale the humid air that floats around me like the local sailing boats on the warm pleasant ocean. Watching me with close eyes, the music gradually changes to a slower beat; I recognize the instrumental, almost instantly my eyes snap shut. Lilly, dear. I continue to cry. Look at me, Lilly look at me; he says with such voice I had to look at him. They were wrong to do that to you, but hey, placing his finger under my chin and raises my face so that my eyes are directly focused on his, as long as I'm here honey, everything will be alright. I'm always here for you Lilly. Always. I wrap my arms around his waist; holding me close, he comforts me with his smooth humming of his favorite song, until I fall asleep. Shhh, Shhh. Everything is going to be alright. A sudden rush of uncertainty and sadness begin to build up in my system, though none of which compare to my strongest emotion of all. Fear. I can't do this, I'll never live with myself if I make a mistake or even stutter, and maybe I should just walk away. Fake a stomach ache, a sore throat of some sort. No! I am not a coward. He didn't raise me to walk away from my problems. I'm so much better than that, so much better than this. Oh, God. I see him.
I turn my head slightly to the right of myself and I instantly wish I hadn't. There I see my weeping mother, sandwiched between my two older siblings, trying their best to comfort her, as well as controlling their own strong-felt emotions. I look behind them and notice the sea of people bunched together in my family's backyard, also with tearful faces. Family, friends, acquaintances, old school mates, neighbors, all gathered here, for one thing and one thing only. Daddy's funeral.
I hit the first few chords of the song that I simply wrote for my Best Friend; I close my eyes and imagine the day Daddy told me all about my childhood and how much of a gift from God I truly was. My sweet Lilly pad, that moment when the Doctor handed you over to me, you truly were a beauty wrapped up just for me and your mum. I was so proud to call you my daughter. You were one beautiful little girl. When you said your first words; your voice was so hushed. Heaven. A calm melody floating through the air. I couldn't believe it, but of course you get your angelic features from your old man. He winks at me and I burst out laughing. He always had a way with words, always made me laugh, no matter what mood I was in. I love my dad and it hurts to know he won't be with me anymore.
I belt out the last note of the song, with everything I possibly have and more. Just for you.
“Goodbye Daddy, I love you.”
