Memories of Passing Strangers ( The Rain)

We'll be even

My hatred for you is everlasting.

To me you're the monster hiding

underneath my bed,

creeping, waiting

to devour me.

I have no eyes when I see you

and I have no ears when you insult me,

The wounds are tugging in my heart

buried deep inside there

I allow myself to believe that you care

for me.

The truth was like razors

but I can hardly feel the pain anymore.

All my thoughts are of you,

I press you to the back of my mind but you still come breaking through,

all of my walls.

Hands around my throat as you pull me down

My heart is heavy and I'm all sweaty

tryna prove you wrong

but you told me that I could never prove you wrong

and you made me cry

and then you made my tears dry

then you cut into my soul

and I bleed, I bled

into your mouth

fueling your hunger to hurt me,

I fell into your web,

and you devoured me sweetly.

And you spit me out in every direction

Because of you I have this affliction

And so you beat me,

broke every bone in my body

crushed every rib in my chest

and I died in your arms.

You killed me,

the words dancing from your lips like lyrics

to the song in my heart.

You replayed it again and again till I just wanted to forget it.

You destroyed me competly,

abandoned my trust,

robbed me of my innocence

and looked the other way.

You looked away

after you'd robbed me of my innocence.

I screamed after you, and I cried out for help but no one came,

I was alone,

I was on my own, spitting, sputtering, choking on your name

The world had swallowed me up and spit me out

and I was gasping because I couldn't breathe.

I never could have imagined that anyone could be so mean.

They looked me in the eyes and told me to shutup,

they said that they didn't give a fuck.

Said that life is pain,

and we're supposed to get hurt.

But they can't possibly grasp my sadness

and I won't ever grasp theirs.

And still they told me to growup,

and take it.

Take the pain and hold it dear to my heart,

let the hatred consume me and do my part

to help destroy this world.

They only destroyed me though,

I began sowing rotten seeds that should never be sowed.

I ripped open every part of me

that was still breathing.

But I've learned, even young as I am,

that sometimes we have to take it,

and move past our pain.

It's true we may never again forgive,

but I can't subject myself to live

hating you.

I can forgive you, but I don't think I can ever believe you.

I'm so lost now that there's no way I can ever be saved

from this ocean of regret, and lost time,

I want to set the world ablaze

and scratch out the names of everyone who's ever existed.

I want to laugh at you when you cry,

and I want to dig holes in you

and write my name across your body,

imbed what I've done to you in my soul.

I want to die with a smile,

maybe live with one too.

I want to sing with the lonely

and belong

I want to exist in the shadows and never exist

I want to hide from the world and scream out

then eat my words, and pound the earth with my fist.

I want to prowl in the dark

like a jaguar in the jungle

and for once eat you up

and taste victory.

I want to plague you with bitterness

and then I will forget you

but I want you to remember me,

and I want you to remember what you did to me,

And I will stop you from believing

that you are forgiven

and then we'll be even.