Ti Amo, Mi Amor (SpaMano)

Chapter One- This Is Sempiternal

I think it started when Holy Roman Empire left for war. Feliciano was so worried about him... But the bastard kept him waiting. Feliciano waited an entire year for him to come home. And this was after the war was over. Can you imagine his worrying while the war was fucking happening? I found it nice that Feli had found someone he loved and someone that loved him back. It was amidst all his worrying that I realized... I was never going to find someone to love me like that. It was then that the depression started. You know, that one I'm still trying to get out of? I was living with Spain at the time, and he was the first to notice my depression. He tried to make me feel better in so many ways- his cheesy jokes, tomatoes, everything. I never noticed the love he was actually giving me because I didn't think I deserved it. So I ignored it. I think I hurt Antonio in the process, but that was good. The more people I hurt now, the less I would hurt later. But he stuck by me. In fact, even now he finds ways to bug me and get on my nerves. But... I know he means well. But still. God dammit, he's annoying... Anyway, after the war ended and Feli refused to believe he was dead for a year, it gave me time to stop worrying about my own problems and help keep Feli happy. But then Feli got over it and started the painful process of moving on, but eventually it happened. Which left me to wallow in my own pain...

"Roma! Roma! Hey!"
I internally groaned, but turned around to greet him. I had been grocery shopping, drowning in my own self pity.
"Ciao Toni." I murmured.
He jogged up to me and smiled his shit eating grin. He grabbed me in a headlock and ruffled my hair. It took me all the restraint not to just hit the bastard in the balls. I just pushed against him until he let me go. He looked at me and tilted his head.
"How come you never smile anymore, Lovi?" He asked.
'Because I'm not happy. You only smile when you're happy.'
I shrugged. We both kind of looked at each other for a while before he smiled at me again.
"How have you been lately? You don't visit anymore, Roma!"
I sighed and looked down, wanting to cry for some unknown fucking reason. I blinked wildly, trying to keep my tears down. They'll come up later, I know it... I shrugged.
"I'm fine. And I don't come to visit because I'm too busy, you damn bastard." I glared at him slightly, and he pouted.
He hugged me slightly, and I hesitantly (and awkwardly) hugged him back.
"You're mean, Roma. But I still love you." I'm guessing he felt me tense, because he just laughed in my ear and said, "Not like that. Silly Roma."
I pulled away and looked at the floor.
"I-I have to get home." Those tears had come back a lot faster than I had anticipated.
He just smiled at me.
"Okay. Bye bye Lovi." He waved at me.
I turned around and hurried out, my arm over my face as the tears in my eyes spilled over and ran down my face.
Pain is sempiternal. Will I ever see the end?

-If you can get the references I make in each chapter and shit, then you win a gold star. Anyway, back to depressed Roma. My poor tomato baby.-