Slightly inappropriate stories for children: book 1 Filip

Book 1 Filip

Slightly inappropriate bedtime stories for children

 Book 1 Filip

Written by Chantal Feijen

Filip

Once upon a time there was a rainbow unicorn that puked blueberries. His name was Filip. Filip the blueberry puking rainbow unicorn.

On a beautiful dark and rainy summer day Filip was strolling through the forest. Suddenly nothing much was happening. Because of that there isn’t much to tell. Although a slightly weird smell was lingering in the forest, but that could be coming from Filip himself. He hasn’t bathed himself in the past couple of years.

A few months later, on another beautiful dark and rainy summer day, Filip was walking past the lake.

It is a funny story how the lake got the name the lake, but we don’t want to make this story too long by giving you useless information. If that had been the case, I also could’ve told you how a blueberry puking rainbow unicorn came to be in the forest.

Near the lake Filip ran into a talking shopping cart. His name is on the list of useless information and is therefore unimportant. For that matter we will call the shopping cart Harry for now. One of Harry’s wheels was broken, because it had only been a moment ago when he had hit a bunnyrabbit. While Harry was sadly looking at his broken wheel Filip was coming closer. Filip, as to this day, had never eaten pancakes. Suddenly Filip got so queasy from his own smell and the broken wheel he started puking blueberries. Harry got all the blueberry puke in him as Filip had lousy aim. Because of the extra weigth due to the blueberries he rolled down the hill into the lake.

 While Harry was drowning Filip walked away. On the way to his destination Filip also saw a limping bunnyrabbit.

Filip finally arrived at the place he wanted to be. With Hank the mole.  Hank had been quite unhappy lately because he has been having a lot of bad luck. At the moment he was suffering from a cold. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a mole with a cold, but it isn’t a pretty sight to see. Hank was snivelling and sneezing al over Filip, but that’s not that bad because moles don’t see a lot in daylight without toothpaste.

  Hank really loves guinea pigs and blueberries. Unfortunately Filip had already finished puking. Fortunately the guinea pig from next door stopped by. Filip and Hank dressed the guinea pig in a pink tutu. They put a little crown on his head and gave him a pretty wand with a sparkling star on top of it.

When Filip saw an apple falling from the tree he knew it was high time to go to the bakery.

But what was this story’s message………

Shopping carts are underpaid.

And you know, each time a guinea pig is wearing a tutu and a shopping cart is lying in the water a flower refuses to share its honeydew with the bees.

The End

A/N the bunnyrabbit and Harry are  both unharmed but they are quite hungry so lets share our pancakes. Do make sure they are gluten free.