Letters To Edmund |book 1|

Chapter 12. Goodbyes

Breathing in sharply he said, "I have to leave," he said quietly, almost like a whisper. "The shadow army attacked our troops on the west border and I have to take a battalion with me."

His words crushed her expectations. This was the opposite of what she wanted to hear. Her head started spinning and her vision went blurry.

Noticing her silence he decided to continue explaining, "a king never leaves his troops behind during the war, only a coward does, so I have to go fight and-"

"Stop!" She shook her head, letting go of his hands which she was still holding. She didn't want to hear it, any of the things he was saying. They grew to be close friends and she was losing him. Tears naturally started to gather up in her eyes, for Angelina hated change, however it came. Most of all she felt selfish, she expected him to say something completely different and for that, she felt selfish.

"Angelina-" he tried to explain himself.

She shook her head again, "no, stop! Why?"

Edmund sighed, he didn't know how to tell her that he was a distraction, so with a breathy voice he said, "I am distracting you from your destiny, can't you see that?"

"You helped me find my destiny!" She raised her voice, still not understanding why everything good that was happening to her started to disappear.

He closed his eyes, "yes, but it is your turn to find it without me," taking her hands into his he looked at her, "I don't want to go away, believe me, I would give anything to stay with you, but it is just something that has to happen."

"And what if you die?" She asked, her eyes letting a tear-out. Noticing this, Edmund pulled her into a hug, his hand cupping the back of her head gently. She sunk into his warmth, even though she was angry with him for leaving. The smell of her hair filled his senses and he closed his eyes. Yes, there was a possibility of him dying, and he knew it very well. Perhaps it was going to be the last time that he saw her, but he would make sure that it was a good time.

His lack of answer scared her, and she let a few more tears fall, wetting his shoulder. "It's not fair," she whispered into his ear and he nodded his head, agreeing with her.

The once sunny morning was now being overtaken by clouds that were ominously circling around the souls of those who would face swords soon. The sun rocked the earth to peace, trying to protect it from the oncoming storm, just like Edmund rocked Angelina in his arms. He had spent a whole month and two weeks with her. She meant so much to him, and he meant so much to her.

Pressing his cheek to the side of her head, he felt her hand caress the other side of his face. It was as if she tried to memorize him with her hands to never forget him. He did the same, placing his hand on her cheek, feeling the salty tears fall down. Edmund didn't cry anymore, but that was the closest time he came to crying. Men didn't cry and that was drilled into his brain ever since he was little. But he wanted to do nothing more than to let his pain out.

"Are you going to come back to me?" She suddenly asked, calming down, but still remaining in his arms. Her saying that made him feel like he belonged to her, and it was a good sort of feeling. Edmund sighed, not knowing how to answer that.

"I will try my hardest," he looked down.

She pulled herself away from him and his warmth, "how long do you have left?"

Edmund glanced at his watch, "about twenty minutes, I still have to go and check my battalion and pack some things."

She nodded, understanding that they didn't have much time together. Wanting to tell him so much about what she felt towards him, she couldn't, her fear wouldn't let her. So, she just held his hand, for the time being, waiting for him to make the last goodbye. They didn't need to talk, it was enough for them to be in the presence of each other. He turned into her best friend, but she was realizing that he was becoming much more.

Edmund said goodbye to her, this time he was the one to kiss her on the cheek, a cheek wet because of tears and hot because of anger. He looked back as many times as possible when he walked down a pathway to the shack where his battalion was situated. He already resented his brother in his heart for commanding him to do such a thing, but he complied because he knew that it was the right thing to do.

Edited (4/1/2020)